Baby Ober

dreaming...

2012-02-13T20:14:00.000-05:00

{dreaming of warmer weather}

I just can't stop...

2012-02-13T12:15:00.000-05:00

Taking pictures of these kiddos, that is! Not sure what it is, but my heart has been overwhelmed with gratitude lately. I just love these little people more than I ever knew was possible!! :)

{love this one too}

and just one more...

{even super heroes need a little break}

Well hello there, beautiful!

2012-02-12T16:09:00.000-05:00

{LOVE this sweetie pie!}

Potty Trained.

2012-02-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

So you know when people say that every child is different? And that you can't expect the same things to work with every child? I have loved watching this unfold recently in the realm of potty training. I have chosen to take a very laid back approach to this whole potty training thing. Isaac began pooping on the toilet when he was two...and never looked back. He remained in diapers and pull-ups, though, until well after his third birthday. I would always ask him if he wanted to go pee on the potty, and he just wasn't interested. We spent a weekend last May to officially "train" him to pee in the toilet. He did great and has been in underwear full-time (during the day) ever since. He is just now wrapping up his time in pull-ups at night, but has regarded them just like undies and has only had a couple of nighttime accidents over the past several months.

Naomi has been a different story. We tried "training" her during that same weekend last May before her 2nd birthday. She just didn't get it...having had a difficult time reading her body's cues when she was about to go. And she wasn't bothered by having wet or dirty diapers. She has gradually been more and more bothered by it, insisting that we change her immediately after peeing or pooping in her pull-ups. I knew she was definitely showing signs of readiness, however, I wanted to wait until after our Disney vacation to really buckle down and "train" her. She stayed dry and clean in her pull-ups throughout our entire Disney trip!! Since we've been home, she has INSISTED on wearing underwear. Naomi has more or less trained herself. She just decided that she was ready to wear underwear and has not looked back. She's had a couple of accidents from not making it to the toilet in time. But she is pretty much completely trained (day AND night)!! :) It feels really weird to have not done a single thing to encourage this from her! And it feels SO nice to have TWO potty trained kiddos! :)

Good Days...

2012-02-10T14:32:00.001-05:00

Some days are tougher than others. And others seem to flow effortlessly and are filled with joy and peace. Today began rough. I've been up since 5:30am, and not by choice. :) By 9:30am, I hit my wall for the day. The kiddos were driving me nuts. And I was tired. But I began praying and asked to the Lord to meet me. I had to rely on Him for strength today. I put on their favorite worship DVD (a live concert by Jana Alayra). And we danced. We laughed. We worshiped together. And we had a lot of fun. The day has slowly gotten better. Sarah is having longer moments of contentedness (though as I am typing this, she is crying in her crib). She just does not like to be put down for any amount of time. She's discovered people. And she wants to be in someone's arms all. the. time. :) And since she's cute and I love her more than words can say...she gets what she wants MOST of the day. But my arms are tired (and so is she). So I'm letting her try to discover the beauty of self-soothing. Sadly, it's not going very well. But here are a few pics from one of her content periods today:

{can't}

{get}

{enough}

And these two spent the morning getting on each other's (and my) nerves. But after lunch, they played quietly and VERY well together. LOVING the peace in my home. :)

Here is a little video clip from our time watching/listening/dancing to Jana Alayra. Isaac's definitely got some moves! Wonder where he got those?? ;)

One last thing. As I am wrapping up this post, baby number three just SOOTHED HERSELF!! I can hear her sucking away at her fingers. Woohoo! What a clever baby! Praise God! :)

Naps...

2012-02-09T22:18:00.000-05:00

Most days recently, we have been allowing the kids to have quiet times in their rooms (playing quietly) rather than making them take naps. They are both on the cusp of not necessarily needing naps. They seem to handle themselves OKAY without them, as long as they are in bed by 6:30 or 7pm. But a lot of days, this is how I find them anyway:

So maybe they do still need naps from time to time? ;) And on days like this when they happen to fall asleep during quiet time, they are up until after 9pm. It means less alone time for Kevin and me...but boy do I enjoy that nice break in my afternoon! :) Right now we're just taking it day by day. Some days they do wonderfully without naps. Others, I make them lay down because it's obvious that they need one. And yet others, I think they'll be fine without, but they take it upon themselves to doze off. :) It works for us. :)

SMILES!!

2012-02-09T12:04:00.000-05:00

{Now THIS is what I'm talking about!}

Having my baby smile at me will NEVER grow old! I could do this all day long. Oh wait...I DO! :) Well...when she's not fussy. Hehe. The past two days have actually been MUCH better. Not sure what changed, but she's been more content and smiley!! Don't get me wrong...she still wants to be held constantly. But at least she's a bit more pleasant while I am! :) She's also starting organizing her night time sleep pretty nicely. She nurses around 7pm, down to bed...and then gets up just once around 2am to nurse quickly, and then sleeps until after 7am!! Woohoo for SLEEP! :) Let's hope this stays! Just trying to treasure these moments!

And other recent moments worthy of treasuring:

Yesterday, I was ignoring Naomi because she was whining, "Moooommmmmy!" over and over again. Finally, she stopped whining, looked me square in the face and said, "LESLIE! PLEASE help me!" LOL. I almost died laughing. Isaac was quick to correct her, "Naomi...that's her name, but we call her MOMMY!" Hehe. Super cute!

And after telling the kids to keep away from Sarah so they don't spread their eye infection to her, they both kept referring to their infections as "confessions." All day, I would hear, "Naomi...be careful! Don't give your confession to the baby!" or "Mommy, will my confession spread to the rest of my body?" or "So these drops are going to help my confession?" LOL. I reminded them of the proper way to say it a couple of times, but then just enjoyed the cuteness of the mix-up! :)

One more from today...

2012-02-08T22:45:00.000-05:00

{it's an outside in our jammies with pink eyes kind of day}

Nakey Babies...

2012-02-08T13:40:00.000-05:00

These two are CONSTANTLY changing clothes throughout the day. Naomi more so than Isaac. They LOVE playing dress up. One minute they are superheros fighting against the evils of this world, and the next they are fairies and princesses. :) Pretty fun. And they also spend most of their days (when at home) dressed in what they like to call "nakey babies," which means that they run around in just their underwear. Even in the chilly house in the middle of winter.

And took this one of Naomi today...

{pink eye is NO fun}

And big brother has it now too...in both eyes! That means that I have to manage getting drops into both eyes of both kids FOUR times each day (that's sixteen drops every day for a week). Ha! I've tried every bribe in the book. We've prayed before trying it. I've tried just about everything imaginable. The nurse's advice: wrap them in a blanket and hold them down while you get help from another adult to pry their eyes open. Seriously? Someone needs to invent something to make this easier!! If only I had the time! :)

Proving us wrong...

2012-02-08T13:28:00.000-05:00

{Proving us wrong}

She has been giving us "social" smiles (big ones and small ones) for the past two days. LOVING it!

If it's not one thing...

2012-02-07T19:53:00.000-05:00

...it's something else! :)

So Naomi has pink eye. Or at least that's what I'm fairly certain she has. It's pink, watery, and keeps producing copious amounts of green goop. Lovely, eh? And very interesting to know that pink eye is the one childhood ailment that does not warrant a doctor's visit for getting medicine to care for it! So woohoo for not having to go back to the doctor this week! :)

More Doctor Appointments

2012-02-06T14:59:00.000-05:00

We just got back from our Disney vacation. I'll be sure to post some photos in the next week or so. It was a GREAT time...the kids had a BLAST! :) This morning, I took Isaac and Sarah in to the doctor for their well-baby checks. Both kiddos are healthy and seem to be doing well. And here are their stats...

Isaac
weight: 37lbs (60th percentile)
height: 40.5in (55th percentile)
blood pressure: 84/42

Sarah
weight: 12lbs8oz (90th percentile)
height: 23.25in (80th percentile)
head circumference: 15.5in (65th percentile)

So Isaac continues to be right at average for his height and weight. And to think he started out SO big for his age!! Let's hope miss Sarah evens out soon too! Hehe. The only thing the doctor told us to keep an eye on was Sarah's social development. Much like Isaac was, she is a late smiler. I really do think she smiled at me a couple of weeks ago, but hadn't really done it again until today. I still can't determine if she's actually looking at me when she's smiling, though.

She spends most of her days quite discontented. If I put her down for even a second, she screams hysterically. So. Not. Cool. I have two other children to care for...I cannot tend to her every cry. Having a baby with colic definitely starts to wear on you after awhile. I just keep trying to sing worship songs or pray through her periods of fussiness. And some of the time, my nerves are so frazzled that I feel like crying myself. But other times, I just tune out the crying and go about my day as if I don't hear her at all. God, how I wish this horrific phase of her life would be over soon! I am SO tired.

Dear Isaac...

2012-02-03T04:05:00.011-05:00

Gosh. How is this possible? That I could be sitting here writing you a letter for your FOURTH birthday?!? Where, oh where has the time gone? I am a bit emotional about it all. Every day I spend with you, I am just amazed at how much you've grown up. I feel like it was just yesterday that you were a newborn baby, cuddling up in my arms. Now, at four-years-old, you're a big bundle of energy that still likes to cuddle up every now and then! And boy do I love it when you do!!

While being your mommy can be challenging at times, you also bring me more joy and laughter than I ever knew was possible! You have a WONDERFUL sense of humor and delight in making people laugh. Though as you've gotten older, you have begun using more inappropriate methods of doing so (such as using potty talk or tooting on people). You have THE BEST belly laugh of any kid I've ever met, and give the BEST bear hugs. You are also very sweet-spirited. You're empathic, and when someone is hurting, you are quick to try to help them or bring them comfort. You are keenly aware of other people's emotions and pick up on little things that many adults don't even pick up on.

While you can get on your sister's nerves often, you usually aren't that way with other kids. You're not aggressive or mean. In fact, in a large group of kids, you tend to be an observer...a bit more timid and shy than the average kid. You like to study situations before jumping in. While you enjoy wrestling and being "all boy" you are usually the first to be upset when others get too rough with you. You are sensitive...yet strong.

And you have a deep sense of justice and we have been amazed at your boldness to stand up for what is right. Some examples of this are when you feel like we've been too harsh with Naomi, you'll yell at us, "Hey! Don't treat her like that! That's not RIGHT!" We have to explain to you why she got whatever consequence she received. But you almost always come to her rescue when she has gotten into trouble. At Christmas this year, during our "white elephant" gift exchange, you were appalled at the injustice of people stealing presents from each other (which is part of the game). At one point, you had the audacity to stand up and yell at one of the adults for taking someone else's gift! It surprised us all, and it made me smile. I just *know* that God is going to use this deeply-rooted sense of justice in you some day! One time, while in a childcare setting with lots of children, the workers were getting ready to put on a show that you're not supposed to watch. You told them THREE times (to be sure you were heard), that you weren't allowed to watch it. I was SO proud of you and your desire to do the right thing!

You are also very loving. You don't know a stranger, and will open up conversation with anyone you meet. While on vacation last year, we spent about five minutes talking to some elderly folks (there were five of them in their 70-80's) while waiting on daddy to meet us with the van. When I told you and Naomi to say goodbye to these kind people, you went up and gave each one of them a big hug as you said goodbye. They were delighted in how sweet you were.

You are definitely ALL BOY...and find great pleasure in antagonizing most people (and animals) you are around. You really only do this with people who you are VERY comfortable with, like our family. Some days, I wish that I could just bottle up some of your energy! You LOVE to run...and are actually QUITE fast for your age. You love racing people, play tag, dancing, doing gymnastics, riding your bike, swimming, and anything else SUPER active! You love being outside and getting dirty. And you also enjoy playing with your toys. Your favorite things to play with are your building blocks, dinosaurs, and "bad guys." In fact, you are somewhat obsessed with bad guys. You also enjoy dressing up with your sister from time to time and will even play "princesses" with her.

You also have quite a long attention span and love to sit and listen to stories. Your favorite books include anything with some drama in it, and you LOVE it when we make up stories to tell you. You also enjoy watching shows...your favorites are Curious George, Super Why, and Bibleman. I'm always amazed at how much you remember. You really do have a very special mind...with an uncanny ability to remember details from books, movies, and real life. We are always so surprised at how much you can recall.

We have recently taken a long break from homeschooling. When we were really working at it, you had actually started memorizing Scripture and several sight words. You are getting very close to being able to read. I am just waiting for you to show more signs of being interested in it before really plunging in. You currently know all of your letters and their sounds (so you are able to sound out a lot of words). But you can only write about five of them. You still struggle with number recognition and simple math problems. So your strengths definitely seem to lie in language development (no surprise there). :)

Some of your favorite things include...
Food: fluffer-nutters (peanut butter and marshmellow sandwhich), shrimp, carrots, green beans, ANYTHING really...you are a GOOD eater! :)
Restaurant: Benihana
Color: Blue
Shows: Bibleman, Wild Kratts, Curious George, Kids 10 Commandments
Friends: all of our neighbors (Gracie, Sam, Emma, Claire, and Micah), Morgan, and Caleb
Toys: space ships, guns, action figures or "bad guys," robots
Game: hide and seek
Books: pretty much everything we read, you love
Animals: Lions, snakes, dogs
Clothes: NONE! You LOVE running around in just your underwear!

Many of our days lately have been difficult. You've been displaying lots of negative emotions (anger, frustration, etc). And you have even gone as far as punching me last week. I'm guessing that a lot of it has to do with the new addition to our family. You are absolutely IN LOVE with your new sister, but she also cries a lot and takes away a lot of our attention. And I think acting out has been your way of gaining our attention. But make no mistake...you are such a blessing to us, Isaac. You bring SO much joy and laughter to our lives. You are full of life and passion. You are bold and sincere. And open. You aren't afraid to show us your emotions and I am genuinely thankful for that!! I do look forward to getting past this grumpy phase of life you've been in. But you, my son, are a rare gift. You have been blessed with a beautiful mind and a genuine heart. And I look forward to see what this next year of life holds for us all! I love you more than words can say! Happy FOURTH Birthday, son!

Dinnertime Conversations...

2012-01-26T14:55:00.001-05:00

Just a little clip from our dinner conversation the other night. This kid makes us laugh. A lot.

On a completely separate note, we are SUPER pumped about our upcoming Disney vacation! We will be heading down with my whole side of the family next week! :) The only bummer right now is that I am dealing with a major sinus infection. I'm hoping to get on antibiotics today, so I'll be good to go by our trip! :)

Colic and other fun stuff...

2012-01-26T14:30:00.000-05:00

So I tried taking Sarah off of her reflux medicine for three days. She was doing fairly well...but was having bad days here and there so I was second-guessing her diagnosis. We had three bad days (and nights) in a row while she was off of it. So we're back on it now. And still having rough days. When on the medicine, she does decently at night (usually giving me a good 6-hour stretch each night). But she doesn't like to be put down at all during the day. Sleep is rough and car rides are even rougher. Some babies chill out and enjoy riding in their seats. Not ours! Here's an example of what our trips sound like...just about EVERY trip...in it's entirety. And most of our car trips last anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes. It's definitely beginning to get old. And poor Isaac sits in the back seat right next to her. He usually takes it very well...and when he becomes overly agitated, he'll begin singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the top of his lungs! Hehe. Makes us smile. :)

Ninjas and Princesses

2012-01-25T16:26:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite things as a mommy is watching my kiddos interact with others. Isaac is in a really fun stage of imaginative play. And it's just SO fun to see! Today, Isaac and his friend, Gracie, were ninjas...before transforming into a prince and princess. As they walked by holding hands, I overheard Isaac ask, "Will you marry me? Like for real?" She replied, "For pretend right now, but maybe for real when we're older." How cute are they?!? I love it! And I love that he loves his friends so much that he could marry them!! :)

LOVE them to pieces

2012-01-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

{my little loves}

Lima Beans

2012-01-23T21:27:00.002-05:00

A little conversation while we were making dinner...

Isaac: If I be nice someday, can I have some of those lima beans?
Me: What?!?
Isaac: Can I have some lima beans?
Me: What lima beans?
Isaac: Those! (pointing to a packet of jelly beans)
Me: Those are jelly beans, and sure...if you have a good day some day, you can have those.
Isaac: (a few moments later) I love jelly beans. They are the sweetest things ever!
Me: smiling
Isaac: Or would you mind if I had some right now?
Me: Nice try, buddy!

Hair Chop...

2012-01-22T14:54:00.001-05:00

I used to have long hair when I was in high school, but I got in chopped VERY short during my first year in college. I grew it out for my wedding ten years ago, but then have kept it pretty short ever since. I enjoy the easiness of caring for shorter hair, although being able to pull it into a pony tail has been fun as well. I have spent the past two year or so growing it out again. It's been fun to have long hair again for the first time in 10 years!

However, with a new baby and two preschoolers to care for, it's just not practical. In just six short weeks of life, Sarah has spit up in my hair more times than I care to count! And she's ALWAYS pulling at it, and I feel like I'm constantly pulling long strands of hair out of her hands. :) Soooooo...I have gotten it chopped once again! And it feels SO nice to have it off my shoulders again. It's weird to not be able to pull it back, but I'll get used to it.

And who knows...maybe I'll let it grow out again...until we have another baby! Hehe. :) Anyway...here's a pic for comparison. I do miss my long-hair look. But I'm enjoying the newness of the short. :)

Sarah's First "real" Smile...

2012-01-20T20:02:00.001-05:00

So far, Sarah has been our smiliest baby yet! In her sleep, that is. :) She must have some beautiful dreams in that little mind of hers! It brings us SO much joy to see her smiling all the time. And today, I am documenting her first REAL smile! I didn't catch it on film, but it was priceless! She had just woken up, was looking around for a minute, then locked eyes with mine. She studied me for a second, then her entire face lit up with the biggest grin ever. :) After a few weeks of lots of fussing, it was a very welcomed surprise!

{sleeping beauty}

Six Weeks Old...

2012-01-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

Playing with Trains...

2012-01-13T15:10:00.000-05:00

Some days these two play SO well together. Today was one of those days. :) Thank you, Lord!! :)

Follow-up...

2012-01-10T21:01:00.001-05:00

I took Sarah in for her follow-up today. Her lungs sound MUCH better (praise GOD!). And here are her one-month stats:

weight: 10lbs, 8oz (80th percentile)
length: 22in (70th percentile)
head circumference: 15in (65th percentile)

Doctor said she looks great! :) Over the past few days, she has really started in with some awful colic. We're talking crying, retching, and screaming ALL. DAY. LONG. And some nights too. It's been rough to say the least. We just started her on reflux medicine tonight, so we'll see if that helps her little belly to feel better! We NEED some relief around here. :) Here are a few pics I managed to capture between crying spells...

Potty Training Update...

2012-01-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

Since we did the 3-day potty training method last year (in May) Isaac has kept up with it, having VERY few accidents...just at night. He still wears pull-ups to bed, but when he wets them, they soak through as if he were wearing underwear. I can probably count on one hand how many times he's done this...so he's done REALLY well. He'll be switching to undies right after his fourth birthday (when our stash of pull-ups is gone).

We took a long break with Naomi, and even went back to diapers for awhile. She has been showing a lot of signs of being ready over the past few months, but given that I was pregnant and now have a newborn to care for, I've really been putting it off. I was also hoping to wait until after our trip to Disney World in a few weeks. Taking a newly potty-trained toddler to a place like that is not my idea of fun. ;)

But over the past month or two, Naomi INSISTS that she be changed the moment she wets herself. We had been making her wait uncomfortably for a little while (not long) until it was convenient for us to help change her. But we recently switched back to pull-ups so she would have the freedom to just change herself. Over the past week, she has shocked us with her determination to use the toilet! She is basically potty training HERSELF! Haha! It began several nights ago around 2:30am. She woke up and came out of her bedroom. After I asked her to go back to bed, she said, "But I have to go pee-pee."

Seriously? At 2:30 in the morning? You're gonna start using the toilet NOW? LOL. And she did. And she's kept up with it pretty well ever since. When we are away from home, she seems to prefer to use her pull-up over a toilet...that or she just forgets. But while we're home, she has peed in the potty 100% of the time for several days now! Totally unprompted. Pretty cool. Now if only we could get her to poop in the toilet too! :) Either way, it's really fun to see her taking the initiative and doing this all on her own. We're just gonna follow her lead.

Sick Kids...

2012-01-09T13:04:00.001-05:00

It started last month when Naomi began running a high fever (around 105 degrees). Her fever last for five days, then just went away. We were all miraculously healthy over the holidays. Praise God!! :)

Then starting on New Year's Eve, she started in with a nasty cough and snotty nose. There was no denying that Naomi had a nasty cold. And this time, Sarah began showing signs of stuffiness and coughing as well. A few days later, and Isaac joined in the fun. Three kids, three colds.

Naomi has slowly gotten better and is currently snot and cough free. :) We found out on Friday that Sarah's cold has developed into pneumonia. And found out today (yes, our FOURTH doctor's appointment in ONE week!) that Isaac has a double ear infection. Oh the joys of multiple kiddos exchanging germs!

Hopefully they are getting it all out of their systems before our trip to Disney in a few weeks!! :) Here are some pics from all the madness...

One Month Old!!

2012-01-06T22:17:00.001-05:00

Sweet, sweet Sarah,

I can hardly believe you're already one month old!! Life has been a whirlwind between your birth and the holidays. This month has gone by SO quickly, yet I can hardly remember what life was like without you here! You are sweet as sweet can be! And by far our calmest baby so far. :) Your brother and sister are absolutely, positively IN LOVE with you. They ask to hug and kiss on you non-stop. Which is probably why you've gotten the nasty cold that they have had.

But sadly, your cold has actually turned into pneumonia. You sound so pathetic when you cough and wheeze. And then you look at mommy with sad eyes and your little lips quivering, as if to say, "Please help me feel better!" :( And as a mommy, that is the hardest thing for me to deal with. I wish I could take it all away and make you feel all better. But healing takes time. We've been giving you breathing treatments and antibiotics and hope you begin to feel better VERY soon!

You had been gaining weight very well, but since being sick, you've actually started losing weight. We'll find out how that changes next week when we go back for your one-month check up/follow-up. You are generally a happy baby with big, beautiful, blue eyes! I love, love, LOVE it when you smile in your sleep! And you do it ALL the time! :) We look forward to seeing you smile in response to us in the next few weeks!

We can't wait to watch you continue to grow and learn! Everyone says that you look JUST like your big brother. We'll see if that changes as you grow! You are such a blessing to us and SO beautiful. We love you, sweet baby girl!

Poop in the Tub...

2012-01-05T20:46:00.000-05:00

Something to add to our circus: having the two-year-old unload a HUGE turd while taking a bath with her brother! She was frantically worried about the surprise that just came out of her rear end while her brother was laughing HYSTERICALLY! I needed a good laugh today! :)

Baby Comparisons...

2012-01-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

This first one is an uncanny comparison between Isaac at a week old and Sarah at a week old...

And these are photos of Isaac, Sarah, and Naomi, respectively...

Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-25T15:32:00.001-05:00

Sarah's Birth Story...

2011-12-20T15:59:00.003-05:00

Despite many different attempts at inducing ourselves naturally, my body just didn't respond to anything. We also had to make a difficult decision between trying to deliver normally or opting for a c-section, given Sarah's large size. Throughout the entire pregnancy, when I prayed to ask God what we should do, I kept hearing the same thing: "Trust Me." And that's just what we did when we went to the hospital Tuesday morning, December 6th, to be induced by my doctor.

Pretty much nothing went as I had hoped or planned, but everything ended up working out just fine and we ended up with a beautiful, healthy baby girl! I had decided ahead of time that I would like to have my water broken, but to hold off on the pitocin to see if my body would respond and go into labor more naturally than having the drugs. When I asked my doctor if that would be okay, she responded with a very emphatic, "No," then went on to say, "I'm here to induce you, so that's what I'm going to do." She completely disregarded my wishes and made me feel like I was about 10 years old. I clinched my teeth and held back the tears as she broke my water and began the pitocin drip. After breaking my water, without telling me, the doctor also screwed an internal fetal monitor into Sarah's scalp. I know now that this is a fairly common procedure, but one that I would have declined if given the option, as there are risks of infection to both baby and mother, as well as limited mobility for me throughout the labor.

While it was uncomfortable, I still managed to walk a few laps around the floor, which was able to help labor progress at a decent rate. When they began hooking me up to all of the machines, they also tested my blood since I had been diagnosed with mild gestational diabetes. I ate a large bowl of cereal just before heading to the hospital, per my doctor's suggestion. I knew that my blood sugars would be higher because of this, but also knew that my body regulates the sugars fairly quickly, and that the levels would be normal within a very short time. When they saw the high-ish results of the blood draw, they insisted that I get a shot of insulin. I have NEVER taken insulin and know with certainty that my body does NOT need it to regulate my blood sugars. They were simply higher than normal because of what I ate. Not a big deal. But they would not listen to me and gave me the insulin anyway. This nearly set me over the edge, but I still managed to fight back the tears and remained quite peaceful.

I got to walk around the halls a couple of times as my labor progressed. Within two and a half hours of my water breaking, the contractions were coming quite strongly, I had progressed from 2cm to 5cm, and I requested an epidural. As we were waiting for the epidural, I began shaking uncontrollably, sweating profusely, and felt very disoriented. The nurse checked my blood sugar level, and found that I was nearing hypoglycemic shock. Lovely. I wanted to yell, "I TOLD YOU SO!" But just asked repeatedly for something to help bring my sugars up again. I was given sugar water through the IV, which caused extreme pain in my arm because my veins are small and the solution was thick. I had to get FOUR different doses of this solution throughout the course of labor, as my blood sugars kept crashing.

Within about 20 minutes of getting the epidural, I began to feel it's effects slowly go away as I was experiencing a lot of pain and discomfort. They tried releasing more medicine 3 separate times, but nothing worked. So the anesthesiologist came back with a VERY strong dose of a different drug. Within minutes of receiving this dose, I could not feel ANYthing from my armpits down. It was a bit much and lead me to feel quite uncomfortable and nervous about being able to push when it was time. Within 2 hours of getting the first epidural, I was a complete 10cm. I was feeling a tiny bit of pressure with each contraction, but didn't necessarily feel the urge to push thanks to the heavy epidural. This ended up being a blessing in disguise, as we had to wait AN HOUR AND A HALF for the doctor to arrive so that I could begin pushing. During this time, my blood pressure kept dipping to very low levels (72/25), which was likely a side effect of the epidural. Those last few hours of labor were most unpleasant, as I was unable to feel anything below my chest, was shaking uncontrollably, and could not stop vomiting. It was not a pretty sight.

Once the doctor arrived and got ready, it was time to push. My body felt nothing. Literally...nothing. But I somehow ended up pushing the baby out within about 7 minutes. And likely due to the amount of time we waited while at 10cm, I endured VERY little tearing to the pelvic area. Praise God!! Sarah Elizabeth Ober was born at 2:43pm, weighing 9lbs, 13oz, and 22 inches long. It took her a little while to begin screaming, but once she did she sounded great! The doctor and nurses were amazed at her size...and then again at the size of the placenta. I have no idea how or why, but my body just makes big babies...in a fairly quick about of time! :) I am thankful that the labor and delivery went by quickly (6.5 hours from start to finish), because it was definitely a very unpleasant experience. But the prize (this sweet baby girl) is SO worth it!! :)

(Photos of the labor and delivery courtesy of my younger sister, Jessica!)

Dancing Machine...

2011-12-16T15:37:00.000-05:00

Newborn Photos...

2011-12-14T22:02:00.000-05:00

Welcome Sarah Elizabeth Ober!!

2011-12-08T21:56:00.000-05:00

Gratitude...

2011-11-26T12:33:00.002-05:00

{Photo from July 2011}

Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts? As I sit and watch my children playing with their daddy from a distance, my heart swells with love and adoration. This husband...these children...they are mine - my family. And my heart can't help but praise my God - the One from whom all blessings flow. And so I sit, soaking in His goodness, filled with awe and gratitude. Words are insufficient in this moment, as there are none to describe the depth of thankfulness within my heart. So I smile as my little heart dances and bows in humble acknowledgment of my limitations. And I smile because I know...that He knows. And really, nothing else matters. :)

35 weeks...

2011-11-23T13:18:00.000-05:00

We are definitely in the homestretch now. :) At my appointment this week (35w4d), I was 2cm dilated, 50% effaced, and she was at a -1 station. VERY close to where I've been with both of my previous pregnancies right before going into labor. I've been having mild, painless contractions off and on for a couple of weeks now, so it's nice to know that they've actually been doing something! Hehe. :)

I know every pregnancy is different, as is every labor and delivery. We are wondering what will be in store for us this time around! :) It's crazy to think that my actual due date isn't for another month (December 23rd). I feel like she could come any day now! If she hasn't come on her own by next Tuesday, we have an u/s scheduled to check on her size and a doctor's appointment to follow. At that time, the doctor may decide to try to jumpstart things a little, and if my body is ready, then it should work...if it's not, then it won't. :)

It's all just a big waiting game! On a separate note, I need to do LOTS more updates to this blog, and hopefully I'll be able to find some time soon. :) But don't hold your breath! :)

Not so great mommy moment #492

2011-11-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

This one took place over the weekend. My husband and I got the kids down for naps, but had told Isaac that as long as he remained quiet he could read books or play very quietly in his room. Naomi NEEDED a nap badly, but he was doing okay without. After coming out of his room a couple of times, as well as being asked to quiet down, he was one more noise away from having his lights turned out and banished to his bed for a nap. And then it happened. He began to SCREAM at the top of his lungs, "DADDY! DAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDY!" My husband was not around, and my pregnant self that was trying to rest got VERY frustrated. I stomped down the hallway, opened his door, and angrily said, "What is your problem? Why are you screaming? Get up IN YOUR BED....NOW." Then my eyes made their way down to what he was yelling for his daddy about. He had his little finger pointing to something in his new Bible. And he could hardly contain his excitement and wanted to share it with his daddy. With a huge frown on his face, he put the Bible down and quickly got into his bed. I felt AWFUL. Way to squelch his excitement over God's Word, mommy. Way to break his little heart. Where was the rewind button? I wanted to undo it, but it was already done. Just call me mother of the year right here, folks! Thankfully His grace is sufficient for me and all of my weaknesses! :)

Isaac wants to die...

2011-11-03T12:31:00.000-04:00

We spent some time this morning looking back through our blog book from 2009. I was showing the kids what mommy looked like when Naomi was in my belly, and spent time reminiscing about when they were both babies. It was a really precious time together. And then we came across a photo of Naomi with their great grandmother, who passed away last year. Isaac was infatuated with the photo and it sparked a most wonderful conversation. This kid is a deep well.

Isaac: "Who is that, mommy?"
Mommy: "That's your great grandma holding Naomi."
Isaac: "Well I want to go to her house."
Mommy: "Oh honey, we can't. She's not alive anymore."
Isaac: "Why not?"
Mommy: "Well because she died."
Isaac: "Why did she die? Did Satan kill her?"
Mommy: "Oh dear, NO! She just got old. And that's what happens when people get old."
Isaac: "But what about Satan? Where is he?"
Mommy: "He is far away from God, in a dark, lonely place."
Isaac: "Is that where great grandma is?"
Mommy: "No, I don't think so. We're pretty sure she's in Heaven, with God."
Isaac: "I wanna be in Heaven with God too!"
Mommy: "Well some day I hope you will. All of our bodies will die some day, but our souls live forever. And if you choose to follow God...if you have Jesus living in your heart, then when you die, you get to be with God forever in Heaven."
Isaac: (silent for a minute) "Well I want to follow God. But how do I get Jesus to be in my heart?"
Mommy: "You just have to ask him."
Isaac: "Like how?"
Mommy: "Like you just ask Jesus if He will live in your heart. And when you ask Him, He ALWAYS does!"
Isaac: "And then I will be with God forever when I die?"
Mommy: "Yep. That's right."
Isaac: (silent for a minute...then very softly) "Jesus, will you come into my heart?"
Mommy: (smiling)
Naomi: "Jesus, come into MY heart, too!"
Mommy: "And when Jesus lives in our hearts, He changes our hearts. He helps us to be kind and loving to everyone."
Isaac: "Hey Naomi - I'm going to choose to die so I can go to Heaven and be with God...and see great grandma!"
Mommy: "Well, buddy...I hope you don't die for a long time."
Isaac: "But I want to be with God and see great grandma!"
Mommy: "I know you do, sweetie. But did you know that God is already with us? We can be with Him here too. He's alive IN us!"
Isaac: "But what about great grandma?"
Mommy: "Well, we can look at pictures and remember her, and look forward to seeing her again one day."

The conversation went on and on like this. Lots of deep, thought-provoking questions from this little guy. He is fascinated with death and dying. And is now fascinated with the idea of Heaven. I wanted to record this conversation, as it was just so sweet and innocent. I love his heart and his desire to learn more about God. And to think...this is just the beginning. I look forward to many more beautiful conversations like these from this little man...he's helping me grow as well!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T21:25:00.000-04:00

Family/Maternity Pics...

2011-10-12T13:36:00.001-04:00

A HUGE thank you to Jessica Vaughn for taking these photos for us this weekend. We met her at a local park early one morning to get that beautiful morning sunlight in our photos. :)

Quick updates...

2011-09-28T20:04:00.002-04:00

Isaac: He's growing up before my very eyes. He has been THRIVING at his gymnastics class at the YMCA. He is learning new skills and is actually doing very well. It's so fun to see him having fun and doing something SO well. :) He has memorized three Bible verses so far, and seems to enjoy the challenge of that. He has also enjoyed learning his sight words and has been having fun putting some of them together to form sentences. A couple of our favorites so far include: "God is my all." and "Isaac is my cat." Some of them are true sight words, while others he still sounds out. It's just so fun to lay out four or five words and have him read an entire sentence back to me!! :) He's learning how to read!! AND he's enjoying it! :)

Naomi: She's definitely showing her two-year-old-ness. :) She is quite possibly the sweetest thing on this planet, however, she has her moments. The latest is that she INSISTS on doing things herself. When I go to change her pull-up or take off her clothes, she'll shriek, "NO, MOMMY! I WILL DO IT BY MYSELF!" This is totally new territory for us. Perhaps it's a second born thing or maybe a girl thing or maybe just a personality thing...but Isaac still doesn't care if we help him get dressed. Pretty funny. We are continuing to encourage her to use her words, as she is definitely prone to crying and whining. She is still SO polite, though...readily apologizing if she hurts someone, and saying please, thank-you, and you're welcome usually without prompting. :) She also just started playing the "you can't see me" game, in which she covers her eyes, then tells you that you can't see her. Pretty funny.

Sarah: We just had our 28-week u/s this week, and are pleased to announce that everything looks WONDERFUL. We've been praying that the placenta would move over the past eight weeks, as it had been partially covering the cervix. It moved and all is clear for delivery (in another 10 weeks or so, of course). :) She looks healthy, but is measuring a bit ahead. Looks like we may be on course for another large baby. :) I am feeling more like I'm 34-36 weeks along, as I am HUGE and feeling VERY worn out these days. We have spent the past several days moving/painting/decorating Isaac and Naomi's new rooms, to make room for #3. :) Naomi will be in a big girl bed for the first time when she switches over to her new room. Both kiddos are super excited about the changes. I'll post pictures once they are completely finished! :)

2011-09-14T16:50:00.000-04:00

I tend to be one of those annoying women who actually ENJOYS being pregnant. I LOVE it. I really do. Now don't get me wrong. I could completely do without the constant back pain...the gazillion trips to the bathroom because my bladder is about to explode every minute of the day...the leg cramps...the headaches...and the list can go on and on. And I certainly don't love how exhausted and totally spent my body is...but I love how I feel on the inside.

I'm carrying new life. I'm glowing...even if that glowing comes with some new break-outs of teenage acne. :) I love the "oooohs" and the "aaaahs" from complete strangers. And being treated like the awesome princess that I am. I like having doors held open for me, and for people to let me go in front of them in line at the grocery checkout. For a nice change, I feel really comfortable with my body. My belly is bulging and most people find it beautiful. I know I certainly do. :) I also love the anticipation of wondering what this little baby is going to look like once she arrives...and wondering when that day will be. It's all so...FUN!

But this third time around has been a little...different. I'm not sure what it is, but I have gotten more negative comments about my body than I care to ever hear. I look no different than I have with my other pregnancies...like I am carrying a basketball under my shirt. I'm what some may call "all belly" as I haven't gained too much weight anywhere else. And yet, the comments come. Daily. They usually start really sweet, smiling...and then the dreaded question: "So when are you due?"

"December."

And then come the crazy comments, served right along with raised eyebrows and dropped jaws. Anywhere from, "WHOA! You're HUGE!" to "Wow...are you sure you're not having twins?" to "Oh my...you have quite awhile to go still...and you're...already...so...big." to "Geesh! I thought you were due any day! You look like you're about to pop!" to "Oh...wow...I thought you were going to say this month!" And they go on and on and on.

Some people are more polite about it than others. Their first words (with raised eyebrows) are always, "Wow!" And the newer mommies will usually say something like, "Well you have a little bit more to go." or "Well you look great...you're all belly!" I'm okay with comments like these. Even though I know what they are thinking. I can see the surprise in their eyes. But I am grateful for their desire to say kind things to encourage me.

Others nervously ramble on, trying to make up for their embarrassing reaction. "Wow...you're huge! I mean...in a good way. Like...look at YOU! You're just all belly. Just think how big you're going to be in a few months! You look like you have a bowling ball in there! It's just WAY out there. But nowhere else. Just right there. You're belly's just so...big."

I wish I could come up with a funny comeback to comments like these on the spot. Like, "Oh...and when are YOU due?" to someone who is obviously not expecting. ;) But I'm not gifted in that way. I'm a mostly shy girl...polite and sensitive. I just smile, probably blushing from embarrassment, and move on. And really the comments don't bother me TOO much. But it does make me wonder...am I really THAT big? I mean...the doctor says I am progressing great. At a 25-week appointment, I was measuring 26 weeks. Just one week ahead of where I should be. I haven't gained an insane amount of weight...right on for where I should be, actually. And aside from the aforementioned common ailments that just go with pregnancy, I feel GREAT. :)

But it would be nice to go out and not be pummeled with negative comments. Or to not have people be SO shocked when they hear that my due date is still a good 14 weeks away...if I were to go full-term, which I've yet to do. So really it's more like 11-12 weeks I have left. :) What if I just started lying to strangers, telling them that I'm due next month? ;) I wonder what they'd say then? And does any of it really matter? No...not really.

Cause this mama ain't lettin no silly people steal her joy! No ma'am! I am proud of this big belly...because you know what's growing inside? One amazing, healthy, little miracle...that's what! :) She's just taking up all the room she wants right now because that's what she wants to do! :) I LOVE being pregnant. And I'm not about to let something as silly as stupid comments take that away! :) So take THAT, people! I LOVE my belly! And I wouldn't trade it for the WORLD! :)

Almost 26 weeks...

2011-09-12T10:22:00.000-04:00

So I rarely put photos out here of myself. But I had Kevin snap a few this weekend, so I thought I'd share. :)

Bible Memory Verse

2011-09-08T13:12:00.000-04:00

So part of our homeschool curriculum includes Bible verse memorization. We've never done this with Isaac before, so I wasn't sure how it would go. The first verse (to correspond with "A" week) is Romans 3:23. And he memorized it in THREE days! :) Here's a short video of him saying it:

SO proud of him!! :) And Naomi's teachers at school can't say enough great things about her too! When I picked them up today, her teacher said, "She's really smart!" :) So it seems that she's adjusting and doing well!! Yay! :)

Back to school time!

2011-09-07T10:01:00.000-04:00

This week, we have celebrated two different first days of school! Monday was our first day of homeschool, which I have enjoyed calling, "The Ober Homeschool Academy." :) And Tuesday was their first day of preschool at a local faith-based montessori school. They will be doing two days of each "school" a week, and having one day off.

First day of homeschool

First day of preschool

So far, they are both very into it all. I love teaching, and they love learning, so it's a win-win all around! The first thing Naomi said when I picked them up from preschool was, "That was FUN!" :) Naomi's favorite part is her new Tinkerbell backpack, which she wears ALL day long! Next week, we'll be throwing in a new activity into the mix - gymnastics classes for BOTH kids. Isaac took a class this summer and did VERY well...you can see a recap video here:

This session, Naomi and I will be doing a parent/child 2's class, and Isaac will be doing the same tumbling tots class again. Once he gets his backward roll down, he'll move up to the next level, called "Invitation Tots" which is by instructor invitation only and designed for 3-4-year-olds who are ready for some extra challenges! :) Either way...this seems to be a really good fit for him, and he LOVES it!

Kid Quotes...

2011-09-05T20:22:00.000-04:00

I know I have been TERRIBLE about keeping up with this blog. I hope to get better as time goes on, rather than worse! Hehe. We'll see how it goes! Part of the problem is because I post so much to Facebook. But that is all so temporary...immediate, but temporary. And the whole point of a blog is to have it as a sort of journal/baby book for my children. They won't be able to look back at Facebook to see what was going on in their lives during this time. :( I WILL get better about this!!

To start, I have been keeping an ongoing list of cute/funny things that the kids say. It's getting quite long, so I figured I'd dump it on here before I start a new one! These are all from the past few months or so. But here they are...

Naomi

She has started saying "big ole" like her brother. One morning, when I went to get her out of her crib, she was saying, "I heard a big ole, big ole noise, mommy!"

"Let's go downstairs an eat breakfass...so my belly won't hurt anymore."

She says "Oh" before she answers a question:
Me: "Naomi, how old are you?"
Her: "Oh...I'm two!"

Still calls herself "Mimi" and Isaac is usually "Ike" but a lot of times she'll even leave off the -ke and it just sounds like she's saying "I" which is SO confusing. For example: Me: "What happened?" Her: "I hurt my arm." Me: "How did you hurt it?" Her: "No...I did it!" Me: "Isaac?" Her: "Yeah...I-yak." :)

Still very polite, saying "I'm sorry" if she accidentally bumps into anyone. SO precious.

While riding in the van, she'll say, "Scoo-me, mommy...scoo-me, mommy..." (excuse me) over and over again until I say, "Yes, Naomi?" To which she'll usually reply, "Um...where are we going?"

If I ask her to do something, she'll say, "Okay, mommy...I will!"

She is very expressive and joyful. When she gets excited about something, she shouts, "Hooray!" as she jumps with her hands up in the air! :) And she's always saying that she LOVES things or people. For instance:

Me: "We're going to Miss Mary's house to play.'
Naomi: "Oh I LOVE Luke! And I like Miss Mary too!"
Me: "Are you excited to play with Luke?"
Naomi: "Yes. And baby Ava too!"

She has recently been interested in watching me go to the bathroom. I have assumed it's because she's super interested in potty training, so I don't see a problem with it. When I go to wipe, she quickly goes to look around at my behind. Each time, she points at my bottom and inquisitively asks, "Is that your suitcase, mommy?" LOL. I have NO clue where she got that one!! But apparently my backside reminds my daughter of a piece of luggage!

Naomi tends to be very sensitive to the sun. And when riding in the van, gets very frustrated when it's shining in her face. A pretty regular comment that I get from the back seat is: "I don't like the sun!" Quickly followed by, "Can you turn off the sun, Mommy? Cuz it's too bright!" :)

Isaac

"Here...I have a plan..." or "Oh...I have a REALLY good idea..."

Often refers to things that are big as, "big ole, big ole" like, "Then there was a big ole, big ole dragon coming after him."

Instead of "Lollypop" he'll say "Poppylot" :)

"I'm the TOUGHEST!"

When his Nana asked if he'd like to try her soup, he said, "Well, actually, I'd like to HAVE your soup."

Uses words like, "probably, actually, maybe, especially, etc" which make him sound like a little professor.

Enjoys saying, "That would be DISGUSTING!"

Still enjoys using potty talk ("tootie, poopy, bootie").

Me: "Where could your flashlight have gone?"
Isaac: "Maybe to Mars?"
Me: "Do you even know what Mars is?"
Isaac: "Yeah...it's a planet!"

"She doesn't actually want to be keeped. She wants to play with us, because we're kind of fun."

Instead of saying "Soda Pop," he says, "Papa Sode"

When asked why he wanted Kevin to leave the bathroom, Isaac said, "Because I'm doing my business. And my business is none of your business!" LOL. Gotta love that kid! :)

He keeps using "like" when talking, for instance: "So, like, were they going, like, to their house?" or "Like, what do you think we're, like, having for dinner?" He sounds like a little valley girl! Wonder where he got that from?!? :)

Rather than asking "Can we?" he sometimes uses something much more sophisticated: "Do you suppose we could go to the park, mommy?" Makes us laugh every time!

(After playing downstairs by himself for a little while...)
Isaac: "Oh, is that you?"
Me: "Yep!"
Isaac: "Oh good. I was like a little lonely down here by myself."
Me: "Awe."
Isaac: "So, um...you wanna come play with me?"

Instead of "Meatloaf," he referred to dinner as "Loaf Meat" :)

Our Baby's Name...

2011-08-02T12:30:00.000-04:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a bit crazy when it comes to baby names. I LOVE having the responsibility of naming a new child. I do an insane amount of research regarding the names and their meanings. I tend to prefer unpopular or non trendy names. And yes...I'm a sucker for Biblical names...mostly due to their rich meanings and heritage. :) I just had to share the story of how we have come to know our baby girl's name today. Yes...we went into the ultrasound without a name, and by day's end, we know her full name.

While waiting for the doctor after the ultrasound and still coming off of the shock of finding out we are having a girl, Kevin breaks the silence with, "I think we should name her Sarah." Really? Sarah? Where did THAT come from? We have a list of about 10 names at home...and that one hasn't even made it onto our list yet. I mean it's a beautiful name...and I love the meaning: "princess." But compared to Isaac and Naomi, it just seems so...common. I went to school with SO many Sarah's growing up...there were a few in each class, actually. So that is my only hang-up...that it's so common.

But then talking to my sister, I realized that while it may be common among my generation, it most definitely is not all that common for babies being born today. Perhaps that's because the generation having the babies today was one that was saturated with Sarahs! Hehe. So that did make me feel a little better about the name.

And then I received an out-of-the blue email from my stepdad...casting his vote for baby girl names. He gave a list of four names, with an emphasis on one that was "by far" his favorite: Sarah. SERIOUSLY? Did he and Kevin talk? No...they didn't. He just really liked that name for this baby girl. The coincidence was almost too much to bear.

And then something happened tonight that completely BLEW me away. I was talking to my dad on the phone, telling him about the ultrasound and everything. Naturally, he asked if we had any names picked out. I made mention of a long list of names that we're sorting through, but did not tell him any of them. But then I said, "I'm not too worried...God already knows her name. We just need to pray and ask HIM and I'm sure He'll reveal it to us!" After a brief moment of quiet, my dad said, "Sarah." To which I screamed, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?" And he calmly said, "Sarah." I told him to SHUT UP! And was just in AWE...complete giddiness. And I nearly peed my pants! When I mentioned that the Lord would tell us the name, he said that the name "Sarah" was what he heard, so he shared it.

What are the freaking odds that THREE men in my family would all come up with the same name like this on the same day? And these are not heavily opinionated men on the name front. They haven't done their research and don't have lists of baby names scribbled on random journal pages since they were teenagers! I am AMAZED at how God has showed us her name today. I was fighting it for the better part of this day...trying to come up with other names that would appeal to Kevin (or myself). But after the conversation with my dad, I have decided to give up and just accept that I will not have anything to do with naming this baby girl! Well...except that I have had a middle name chosen for her for a little while now. :)

The daughter growing within my womb has a name! And I LOVE it! Her name is Sarah Elizabeth Ober. And I LOVE how God made it so perfectly clear to us today. He is SO good! :) And I can't WAIT to meet our little "princess."

Isaac and the No Good Very Bad Day...

2011-07-24T13:33:00.000-04:00

Our day begins as my son SLAMS his bedroom door. He's awake (about 1-3 hours earlier than he should be) and mad at the world. I sigh and think to myself, "Here we go again...it's going to be one of 'those' kind of days." He has never gone back to sleep, even though his body is BEYOND exhausted, going on only 7 or 8 hours of sleep...far too little for a 3-year-old boy.

Our entire day is filled with this angry little boy who spews rudeness all over the place. "I don't WANT you!" or "Don't look at ME!" are staple phrases. He makes threats all day long: "I'm gonna throw this at you!" or "I'm gonna hit Naomi." or "I'm gonna spit at you!" His tone is mean, his brows furrowed. I try different things on different days to combat this angry little thing.

Sometimes I'll try humor...whether making jokes or tickling. I can usually get a quick smile out of him and even some forced laughter with the tickles. But I pay for it, because it only ticks him off even more. He comes out of the laughter with even harsher words and brashness.

I have tried ignoring it altogether. And all that does is make it escalate. If I pretend to not hear him, he yells even louder. I have also used a removal tactic. If he can't get himself together, I can't trust him around his sister or me or the dog. So he spends some alone time up in his room. He has plenty of books to read up there and usually throws complete tantrums before finally calming down to read by himself. I usually give him anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes of alone time when things are pretty bad. And tell him that I'll wait until he calms himself down before I let him come out.

I have used vinegar water in his mouth...reminding him the importance of cleaning out his mouth. He hates this method and ends up smelling like vinegar all day long. But it still does not deter him from letting his anger and rage torment our family. We have used other discipline methods, such as redirection, time-outs, spanking, and removing privileges. So far, we haven't found anything that has really worked to curb his negativity.

I spend lots of time praying over this child. I rebuke the spirit of anger that is covering him. I pray for peace and for love to cover his heart...fill him up...and overflow. But the problem is that he is perpetually over-tired....exhausted from not getting enough sleep at night. He is also ALWAYS hungry. Combine the two...and he is a MONSTER of a child. Unless he is being entertained. Then...he seems to forget about his "act" and seems quite enjoyable. He also has good days, when he is well rested and well fed...but those are few and far between right now.

I just don't know how to deal with the constant negativity from him. It really starts to wear on me after a few days of it. I just can't win. And I'm exhausted too! I confess that his negativity wears me down to the point of responding in anger myself. He pushes and pushes until I explode at him. Again, some days are better than others. But I spend most of my days, putting my hands up in the air and asking him, "WHY?" And then asking the Lord..."What is WRONG with my child?" Surely this can't be normal. Do all families deal with this? How are there not lines of people awaiting admittance to the insane asylums? ;) I feel like I'm about to go crazy!

When the day seems to be going especially difficult with many challenges, I will often resort to using the television. He enjoys it, doesn't yell at it, and it keeps him quietly engaged for 30 minutes at a time. But I am begging to know and hoping to find other answers to this challenging behavior. I am currently reading through TWO books on strong-willed children, and am fully expecting to gain some wisdom from these books. But he is more than strong-willed...he is ANGRY, moody, and just down right MEAN. And this mommy knows what it is to be strong-willed. But these constant attacks of anger and aggression are really throwing me for a loop here.

In the meantime, I will continue praying for him and for his little heart. I will continue to rebuke that spirit of anger in the name of Jesus (for all of us). And I will continue praying for wisdom to know what to do next. May I respond always in loving kindness...with a gentle heart toward him...regardless of how he treats me. May I be consistent in whatever I choose to do with him. And may I honor God in this important role that I have! I wish that I felt like I was on top of my game right now...but honestly, I just feel like I'm enduring this difficult season. It can't always be like this...it WILL get better, right? God I hope so!

Isaac's Stories

2011-07-23T13:31:00.000-04:00

So we have started a little book/journal for Isaac. And it's a different kind of book, because the entire thing will be by HIM! On occasion, we will sit down and I'll have him tell me a story. And I will annotate everything he says word-for-word. It has been fascinating watching his little mind create stories and tell them with such excitement. Here are his past few...they have a very common theme: dragons, swords, death, and fighting. :) Have I mentioned that he's a BOY? :)

Once upon a time there was a choo-choo train with a princess and a boy in it. And it was going REALLY fast. Then an alligator got the princess. Then God saved her. He said, "No, alligator, don't get her! She's my child!" The boy said, "Alligator, that's MY sister!" The End -by Isaac Ober

There was a dragon and it killed the boy! But there was wild things. And the wild things tried to eat the dragon. But the dragon went RAAAOOAR! And they got scared. And they flew away to Badgio. The End. -by Isaac Ober

Once there was a dragon and there was a sword. And then there was Isaac and he was a big ole, big ole brother. And he had a sister and her name was Naomi. He had a sword to fight the dragon. So he made the dragon die. Isaac winned. The End. -by Isaac Ober

While they look short typed out on here, they actually fill up an entire fat-lined piece of paper in our primary journal. And there is space at the top for illustration. He isn't interested in drawing himself and has requested that I do most of them. I will not be doing it for much longer, though, as I want him to develop some of his drawing skills. :)

Raising Boys

2011-07-18T14:15:00.000-04:00

They are everywhere you look...little boys. And what a mystery they are to us, their mothers. They start out so sweet and cuddly, and as they take in the world around them, they grow into these little wild things. If only we could bottle their energy! Some of the words that I would use to describe Isaac, my little guy who is now 3.5-years-old, are: energetic, busy, loud, impulsive, argumentative, hilarious, mischievous, crude, empathetic, strong, rough, smart, out-going, fearless, aggressive, sensitive, feisty, and as many have said to me..."He is ALL boy!"

That's my son. He likes to make little girls scream, is a lover of bugs, enjoys sword fighting, daydreams about taking down dragons, turns simple toys into guns and other weapons, enjoys running and playing outside, picks his nose, doesn't mind being dirty or sweaty or both, enjoys peeing in the grass, and has been known to find humor in farting on people. Yes...that's my son. And I love him more than words can say.

And yet this male species can be so confusing to me! I have pleaded with him to sit quietly, to be careful, to stop running, to just be still. But as time goes on, I am beginning to realize that I am basically asking him to be other than how he was designed. I am asking him to behave like a sweet, quiet, little girl. I ask him to play with kindness and to try being "the good guy" every now and then (as he is obsessed with wanting to be the "bad guy"). And I am dumbfounded. Where DID he learn these behaviors? He has been quite sheltered from TV, movies, and all media. And I certainly have never taught him how to play like this.

Which leads me to believe that maybe this warrior nature...this fearless fighter within our sons is a natural-born, God-given trait? I see boys everywhere play fighting, wrestling, pretending to be heros, or picking up sticks and using them as pretend weapons. They are full of energy and constantly looking for ways to get it out.

So as their mothers, how can we foster this foreign and slightly disturbing nature that come as part of the package of having a son? I want to be intentional about not stifling it...or telling him that how he IS is wrong. I don't want to feminize him or control him. But rather, I want him to be adventurous and wild and have the freedom to grow and develop into a responsible young man one day. So how do we harness this energy and aggression for good?

I have some friends who have enrolled their children in Tae-Kwon-Do. This seems like a most wonderful option, as it is not only an outlet for their energy, but they are also learning important character development skills at the same time. It is, however, quite expensive. And unfortunately, not an option for us at the time. We do belong to a local YMCA, which offers co-ed tumbling classes. We have enrolled Isaac for classes this coming summer session, and are excited to see how it works!

I know that just being outdoors...whether running around, riding bikes, or searching for bugs...is a great way for Isaac to get out lots of his energy. He just needs to be moving...all..of..the..time. I've also wondered if there are any foods that we feed him that bring out some of the more crazy amounts of energy that he has, and I'm still researching that one.

Obviously, I have made huge generalizations about boys here. I do recognize that everyone is different, and every child unique. Not all boys are super active, wild monkeys. I have met a few throughout my years in education and child care who are quite the opposite...quiet, timid, preferring to be indoors, reading books rather than fighting. And that's totally okay! This post is more directed at those mommies out there who are dealing with crazy, wild, high-energy boys! I need some IDEAS! What DO I do with him? And I need some answers quick, before I pull my hair out! Haha!

Anyone?

**I am adding that a friend just suggested that I read a book, which is totally on my must-read list. It's "Bringing up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson. Here's a quote from the very first chapter that really resonates with my post:

"...one of the scariest aspects of raising boys is their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason. It begins very early. If a toddler can climb on it, he will jump off it. He careens out of control toward tables, tubs, pools, steps, tress, and streets. He will eat anything but food and loves to play in the toilet. He makes "guns" out of cucumbers or toothbrushes and likes digging around in drawers, pill bottles, and Mom's purse. And just hope he doesn't get his grubby little hands on a tube of lipstick! A boy harasses grumpy dogs and picks up kitties by their ears. His mom has to watch him every minute to keep him from killing himself. He loves to throw rocks, play with fire, and shatter glass. He also gets great pleasure out of irritating his brothers and sisters, his mother, his teachers, and other children..."

It goes on to describe boys as they get older and even more dangerous! :) I think this is going to be a GREAT read! :)

Funny Conversations with a 3-year-old...

2011-07-14T12:22:00.000-04:00

These were all over the course of this evening. I love this kid! :)

Upon receiving a bowl full of watermelon at Nana and Papa's house, Isaac exclaimed, "Praise God!" :)

Sitting out on the warm driveway, watching airplanes fly by...
Isaac: "Look! There's another one, Mommy!"
Me: "Where do you think they're going? Maybe Florida?"
Isaac: "No...they're probably going to Wal-mart."

*****

Isaac: "Mommy, do you wanna look for bugs with me?"
Me: "No, not really."
Isaac: "Why not?"
Me: "Well, I just don't enjoy bugs all that much, so I don't want to."
Isaac: "Well you could just imagine that you were. Just close your eyes!"

*****

Isaac: "Let's fight the spiders!"
Me: "I don't think so, buddy."
Isaac: "Why?"
Me: "I don't want to right now."
Isaac: "Well they freak you out and they're mean...so don't you want to fight them?"
Me: laughing.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Naomi Grace

2011-06-07T13:39:00.003-04:00

To our sweet, sweet Naomi,

I can hardly believe that you are TWO years old already! You are such a delight to our family and keep us smiling and laughing every day! You are still a little peanut, but have recently hit a growth spurt, and are getting SO big!!

You weigh just under 22 lbs and are 32.75 inches tall! That puts you right around the 25th percentile for height and just above the 2nd percentile for weight. :) You are still wearing your 12 month clothes, but we've started buying 18 months as well, even though some of those are a little big on you. Now if we can just get your hair to grow on the top of your precious little head! Hehe. You have lots of hair in the back, just not a lot in the front. It looks ADORABLE in pigtails, but you prefer to wear it down. In fact, you'll tear the rubberbands out of your hair, and pat your head as you say, "No, I want THIS hair, Mommy!"

Much to my chagrin, you have more or less given up napping over the past few weeks. You are a clever little lady, too. When you don't want to nap, you reason with us, telling us, "I be quiet. I go downstairs, and I will be quiet." If I'm lucky, you'll actually fall asleep one day a week. You stay in your crib for an hour or more, typically talking and playing, but sometimes you are prone to take your pull-up off and poop or pee in your bed. Not too pleasant.

But you don't like getting messy, so that works to my advantage. You haven't decided to use your poop like artwork, as your brother did a few times. :) If your hands even get dirty while playing outside, you'll hold them out as you walk to me saying, "I'm all dirty, Mommy...can you clean dem off peez?"

You spend most of your time playing with Isaac. You two are best friends...and at times can seem like worst enemies. I LOVE it when you laugh and play well together, which happens every day. But you both instigate arguments with each other every day as well. He likes to do things to make you scream, which you do often. We have been encouraging you to use your words a lot lately. :) You have also began tattling on him, saying things like, "Isaac said 'poopy', Mommy!"

You also have a little bit of a sassy side to you. And given your small, delicate nature, it is SO stinking cute! You are, by nature, very sweet and polite. But when something happens that you don't like, you are not afraid to let it show! We have caught you several times yelling at your brother, arms back and chin out with as much attitude you can muster up. And it sounds something like: "Don't do dat any MORE!" and it is immediately and forcefully followed by spitting! Cracks us up every time, though we are quick to correct the spitting. :)

Though you are not very ticklish, I can definitely find spots that get you laughing pretty hard. But you don't enjoy being tickled and will promptly tell me, "I don't like that, Mommy." I always respect your words when you say that and I stop immediately, even though I love to make you laugh. :)

You have definitely been showing your age more and more lately. Your newest tactic is completely ignoring us when we ask or tell you to do something. You literally act as if you cannot even hear us and just go on about your business without even acknowledging what we've said. I have considered having your ears checked, but I am quite confident that this is just a pretty clever means of disobedience and we have started correcting you for it. As we grow in our consistency in correcting this behavior, your hearing has magically improved ten fold! Hehe.

Let's see...what else? You are still infatuated with babies...both your dolls and real-life ones. :) You are just so precious with them and I just LOVE seeing how nurturing you are! I bet you are going to be a WONDERFUL mommy some day. You have never seen anything with a princess in it, but you are IN LOVE with all things princess. You enjoy playing dress-up (with Isaac too), and LOVE your princess shoes. Even when we drive past a Wendy's restaurant, you point out the window at the picture of Wendy, and yell, "I see a PRINCESS! LOOK MOMMY! A PRINCESS!!!" Haha. We need to get you to Disney World sometime!

We still can't figure out whether you are going to be right or left handed. You probably use your left hand 75% of the time, but still use your right 25%. You seem to be equally skilled at using both, depending on which is more convenient for you. Perhaps you will be ambidextrous? I guess time will tell. One of my favorite things about you is that you never took a pacifier or sucked any fingers. When you're tired or trying to soothe yourself, you twirl your hair. It's SO stinking cute!! :)

You LOVE reading books (and being read to). Your favorite TV show is SuperWhy. You enjoy singing, and one of your favorite songs is on a kids CD in the van. I LOVE it when you yell, "HAL-LE-LOO-LAH!" over and over again! Such a beautiful sound coming out of your sweet little mouth. Some of your other favorite songs include Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Jesus Loves Me.

You know almost all of your colors, but still get them all mixed up from time to time. You can count to ten and know MOST of your alphabet...recognizing both the letters AND their sounds. I have a feeling that you're going to give your older brother a run for his money when it comes to learning things. You seem to catch on SO quickly...and are a really good self-learner. :)

You are super sweet and SUCH a delight to us. You are SO stinkin adorable and get LOTS of looks and comments when we go anywhere. But when strangers try to talk to you, you just bat your eyes and act really shy. Well, I think that just about wraps things up. We love you more than words can say and praise God for you every day!! :)

We love you SO much, sweet Naomi Grace!!

Potty Training - Days Four and Five

2011-05-04T14:23:00.000-04:00

On day four we had a full day with no accidents from either kiddo, and therefore, I announced on Facebook that Naomi was also potty-trained. Perhaps I celebrated a little too early...I should have waited. :) We decided to go back to pull-ups just for nighttime...for both kiddos. More for our own peace of mind than anything. Isaac is still waking up in the middle of the night to use the toilet...just as if he was still wearing underwear. So that's fine...but I like the extra comfort of knowing that in case he forgets, he's covered.

Naomi woke up with a wet pull-up this morning, but emptied her bladder on the toilet right after getting up (in the 5 o'clock hour, I might add). However, she put up a HUGE fight to keep her pull-up on. I handed her her favorite princess undies, and she threw them back at me, saying, "No unnerwear...I want a pull-up!" Uh oh. Just wonderful. I didn't fight her, but waited a little while until Isaac came down and then we changed both of them at the same time, saying good bye to the pull-ups as they threw them away. She seemed okay with it now. Whew!

She did okay for the first part of the morning, as long as I reminded her to go to the potty. Otherwise, she just peed on the floor. After her second accident, I put a pull-up on her. Maybe she's just not ready for this? At least she has learned how to go on command if she needs to go. That's a big step. But she still hasn't transitioned into feeling like she's going to go...and then letting mommy know before she lets it out. It's been five days now and I think we're just gonna give it a break for awhile. The girl practically threw a fit this morning when I asked her if she was ready to change into her underwear. She made it perfectly clear that she wanted the pull-up. So why fight it? It's MUCH easier on us all if she's still in the pull-up.

If she tells me that she needs to go potty, then I will joyfully take her and let her try. But I am not going to spend countless hours every day watching her like a hawk, reminding her to tell me when she needs to go, and waiting to whisk her away when she looks down at her underwear and starts to pee. Hehe. I'm just exhausted and done for now. Oh...and I forgot to mention that we've all been sick this week as well. Ha! They've had pretty nasty colds and now I have a wicked sinus infection. Just makes things even more challenging on my end...just picture this sleep-deprived, totally exhausted, stuffy-nosed, watery-eyed, head-pounding mommy on her hands and knees scrubbing urine-soaked carpet a few times a day. Yeah. Not a pretty sight. :) Maybe we'll try again in a few months.

For some good news, Isaac has continued to stay dry since the beginning of day two!! He's doing GREAT! :)

Potty Training - Day Three

2011-05-02T14:21:00.000-04:00

Drum roll please....

I am pleased to announce that we have a 3-year-old little boy who is officially POTTY-TRAINED! :) He really got it the first day, and has been accident-free for two days now. He woke up DRY this morning, after a full night of sleep and kept dry during his nap today as well! GO ISAAC! :) I still wonder how he'll do in the long-run with the overnight stuff, but I gave him the choice to keep wearing underwear at night and working hard to wake up dry in the morning or to go back to wearing pull-ups. His response was immediate: "I want to wear my underwear!" So there you have it! This method worked beautifully for him and he really caught on so quickly. I knew he was beyond ready, and it definitely feels nice to finally be over the big PT hump with him!

Now Naomi is a different story. She will be 23-months-old tomorrow, which puts her at the "prime age" according to the 3-day potty training method. I'm still not convinced that Naomi is totally ready or capable. It still has not "clicked" for her yet. She did wake up dry this morning for the second day in a row! And she did let me know ONCE today that she needed to go. Every other time that she made it to the toilet, it was due to my diligence in whisking her away right as she began to pee. She also had a couple more accidents today than she did yesterday. And that can be attributed to not following the method correctly. I am not supposed to let her out of my sight. And since it was day three, I got lazy with it. For at least two of her major accidents, I was busy helping Isaac with something. Per recommendation of the method, I should have kept Naomi by my side even while helping her brother. I cannot take my eyes off of her. This is just SO hard to do by myself with two kiddos at their ages. I guess I kind of expected that by this phase of the training that she would cue in to her body's signals and tell me when she needs to go. But that's just not happening...yet.

So the million dollar question: Do we throw in the towel and go back to diapers/pull-ups for her or stick it out now that we've started? I feel sad for her because I feel like she's REALLY been enjoying the comfort and pride of wearing big girl panties. But she's so little and just isn't getting it yet. I don't have anything planned for the rest of this week. Can I last another day or two of this madness? Haha! I think I may give her another day or two...and just take it one day a time. I know that some of the testimonials for this method said that it took their children five days to be completely trained. So that would mean two more days stuck at home with complete focus and dedication on her. Now that Isaac is trained, maybe it will be more manageable? So after much deliberation and a little time to myself, I have decided to stick it out for another couple of days. If you would have asked me a few hours ago, I was TOTALLY ready to give up on her.

This stuff is exhausting. And I'm running out of fun things to do with them cooped up at home. But with a little creativity and A LOT of patience, we can do this!! :) We'll see if she can get the idea in the next day or two. If not...no big deal. We'll try again in a few months. :) I'll keep you posted...

Potty Training - Day Two

2011-05-01T14:20:00.000-04:00

(Yes...her undies are a little big. She's still wearing mostly 12m, but sometimes 18m bottoms, and they just don't make underwear that small. The smallest size we've found is 2T-3T, so she'll just have to grow into them!)

Okay...so as was promised per the training manual, day two was MUCH easier than day one!! Wow! What a difference a day can make! :) I'm still extremely exhausted, but plan to go to bed super early again. And hopefully tonight I will not be on edge as much as I was last night, which gave me VERY little sleep. I feel much more relaxed and confident about the overnight now. :)

Here's our progress report for today:

Isaac only had ONE accident all day! And it was during his nap, so it didn't fully count in my book! This kid is doing SO well. We are SO proud of him! He even got up at 2am last night to let himself into the bathroom to go pee! But then he woke up for the day around 6:30am and had forgotten he was wearing underwear. Not too bad for the first night ever without a pull-up on!! He is officially cued in to his body's signals to use the toilet!! Yay! I am thinking that we may need to put him back into pull-ups for nightime. He has ALWAYS been a VERY heavy wetter. He is excessively thirsty...right up until he puts his head on his pillow at night. And it is KILLING us to not allow water before bedtime. And honestly, it's not worth the battle for us. So after these three days are up, we're going to just forget about training him at night until he's waking up dry more consistently. Overall, we are pleased with his progress...and he is happy with all of the treats, prizes, and praises he's been receiving. :)

Naomi went from having 12 accidents yesterday to only FOUR today!! WOW! What a difference! Two of those were teeny tiny dampness ones, and one was during nap as well. So really only ONE full-out accident!! :) And she made it on the toilet 10 times (including a POOP)!! We are SO proud of her as well!! She is slowly learning how to let her body release to pee. But still isn't quite on it with letting me know she needs to go. Today's success was partly her and partly my own diligence in reading her signals. Hopefully it really begins to "click" for her tomorrow. I was really worried how she was going to do overnight, but she did wonderfully! I woke her up around 9:30pm to get her to pee (with no success). She only wanted to drink more water, which we allowed. I slept horribly, waiting for her to wake up drenched in pee. But she slept the whole way through, waking up DRY at 5:55am!! Quite a bit earlier than I would have liked...but hey...she did go to bed at 6:30pm, and slept the whole way through...waking up DRY...and then peeing in the toilet right away! :) She is amazing us!! :)

Sooooo...my thoughts after Day Two: maybe this is all going to actually pay off!! :) Today was exhausting but not nearly as much as yesterday. If each day gets a little easier, then this might just end up working out really well for us. Naomi seems to have a bladder of steel and can hold it for a lot longer than Isaac. She is averaging going once every hour (with LOTS of extra juice and fluids to drink) and was able to go 13 hours overnight! Isaac is averaging 3-6 times per hour throughout the day. Now...I'm not sure if he genuinely needs to go, or if he has caught on and really enjoys the rewards for going. :) You can see by his sticker chart that he is "getting" it. Hehe. We haven't given him stickers for EVERY time he's gone if they are within 10 or 20 minutes of each other. We continue encouraging him to empty his bladder and are not going to reward him for stopping short and then needing to go again right away. That seemed to work for a little while today.

Overall, we are pleased with their progress. And tomorrow is Day THREE!! This is it, folks! The game-changer day! Will they both be completely and totally potty trained by the end of the day tomorrow? We shall see! Isaac pretty much already is, so I'm going to say a big YES for him (daytimes only). And Naomi is definitely getting there....really hoping that it just "clicks" for her tomorrow. I am the most nervous about being alone tomorrow. It has been SO helpful to have two sets of hands and eyes with this training. Given that we were training two kiddos at once, that makes sense. I'm banking on Isaac doing perfectly and Naomi doing MUCH better than she even did today. It worked out well with accidents when I could deal with and take care of the child and Kevin could deal with the dirty laundry (changing sheets, etc) and cleaning the carpet. It's going to be tricky to have to handle that all by myself. But hopefully the accidents are minimal, and therefore will not be much of an issue! :)

Potty Training - Day One

2011-04-30T14:19:00.000-04:00

So I've gone a little bit against my own advice and decided to start potty training...BOTH of my toddlers at once. I may be on the verge of insanity...but I thought I'd give a specific method a whirl. It's the famous 3-day potty training method, by Lora Jensen. She guarantees that if you follow her method to a T, then it WILL work and you will have a fully potty-trained toddler in three days or less. Sounds good to me! :)

I guess I'm not like many other mommies I know, because I really don't care that my kids aren't potty-trained. Sure...diapers can get pricey...but use some coupons and make them stretch...or have some super giving grandparents who enjoy blessing you with diapers and pull-ups...and you won't care as much! :) If you think about it, life is actually MUCH easier with two in diapers (though my son has been poop-trained for almost a year now), than it is with two newly potty-trained toddlers.

As I am in the midst of this, I can't help but imagine what my outings are going to look like now that they are potty-trained. I'm going to have two toddlers who will probably both have to go at once...holding themselves, doing the potty dance...and then I'm going to have to rush them to a public toilet somewhere and decide who has to go worse. And if we don't get there in time, the dreadful accident occurs...with pee dripping down their little legs, forming a lovely puddle of urine on the floor. And I get to kneel down and wipe it all up...and get them all cleaned up...and have an entire extra set of clothes to change them in to...and a big bag to store the pee-soaked ones.

Call me crazy, but isn't that A LOT more work than what I'm doing now? I mean...when I go out, we worry about NOTHING. Sure...I'll take a couple of extra diapers in case she poops. But she usually doesn't. So we go out for a few hours, they go pee in their pull-ups/diapers, and I change them in the comfort of my home. Why would I want to end this easiness?

I have always maintained that I will wait until they are absolutely ready...as in...they are ASKING to wear underwear and to use the toilet. I just don't want to deal with a gazillion accidents or the stress of going out with newly potty-trained little ones. So why on earth am I doing this to myself? I DON'T KNOW!!

Maybe it's social pressure...Isaac is over 3-years-old now, and "should" be trained. He is totally trained on the poop side of things...just prefers to use his pull-up to pee. (And quite frankly, I kind of like that he does that too.) But I feel like I "should" be doing this because it's time. I heard of this 3-day method and it sounds pretty straight-forward. So I thought...WHY NOT?!?

But now, one day into it, I'm wondering...WHY? :) But I'm going to stick it out for the duration of the three days. If, by the end of the third day, they are still not "getting it" then I'm going to revisit the convenience of diapers/pull-ups again. I knew that she wrote that I'd be exhausted after the first day...and boy was she right! Whew! Here is our progress report for Day One:

I am COMPLETELY exhausted. I am wondering if it would have been better to do one child at a time! UGH. SO tempted to give up with Naomi, but going to suck it up and stick it out through the end of the three days. If she's not 100% potty trained by then, I'll have no problem waiting awhile longer for her. Naomi did make it on the potty 4 times today, but had 12 accidents, most of which were preceded by 3 or 4 "false alarms" in which she tried to go, but her body wouldn't release. Big E for effort, though. She did good. And Isaac had 3 accidents and went on the toilet more times that I can even count! He was HIGHLY motivated by all of the stickers/treats/rewards, and therefore likely peed more often than he actually needed to. Haha! He also woke up completely dry after a 3-hour nap which surprised us all. :) I'm guessing he'll be officially potty-trained by the end of tomorrow. Still a bit nervous about tonight, though. Naomi would NOT pee before bed and hadn't gone since having an accident an hour earlier. So we'll probably need to wake her up in an hour to have her go, but she can't make herself, so not quite sure how this is going to work. Really makes me wish we could just keep her in diapers at night. And if she doesn't get the hang of this in the next two nights, then diapers it is!! :) BOTH kids REALLY struggled with the cutting off liquids an hour or two before bedtime. Made me realize why they both always wake up crazy soaked in the morning. It's because they drink WAY too much right before bed!! They were crying and begging for water at bedtime. :( We let them have sips, but it didn't satisfy. ANYWAY...it's been a LONG day. Need to re-collect and prepare for another long day tomorrow. Here's to hoping for a good, dry night and a better day tomorrow...with less accidents and more successes! Any and all prayers are welcomed for our family!! :)

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-21T14:25:00.000-04:00

I had an especially rough day with the kids yesterday. And really it was more my problem than theirs. I set my alarm for 6:00am, hoping to spend some time in worship and prayer to start my day off right. I normally set it for 6:30, but Naomi has been waking up right about that time as well. So I tried to outsmart her. But alas...she was up at 6:01am. UGH.

So I began my day in frustration. And tired. And it just went from bad to worse. It was one of those days in which I wish that I could take back half of what I said and did to my children. I lost my patience more times than I care to admit and stooped to the level of yelling at them throughout the day. I was n-a-s-t-y. And they were dishing it out just the same. We were all grumpy and taking it out on each other.

Today, I am thankful for a NEW day. For a fresh start. And I am thankful for a truly tender-hearted son who extended his forgiveness to me last night. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Isaac, mommy needs to apologize to you for something I did."
Isaac: (interrupting me) "What did you do, Mommy?"
Me: "Well I was SO mean to you today. I got angry and yelled at you and I should not have done that. Mommies are not supposed to speak to their children that way. I'm really sorry that I spoke to you so rudely today."
Isaac: "How were you rude to me?"
Me: I rehashed and confessed every way that I could think of...
Isaac: "Oh yeah...that wasn't good. That didn't honor God."
Me: (smiling) "You're right...that did not honor God at all. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"
Isaac: "Yes...I forgive you, Mommy."
Me: "Thank you, sweetie. And I will do better tomorrow. I am going to work on being more kind to you and Naomi and not let things get me so frustrated."
Isaac: "We'll all be kind to each other!"
Me: I then proceeded to give him permission to hold me accountable by calling me out when I am speaking rudely to him.
Isaac: "What does ack-an-ti-ta-ble mean?"
Me: (smiling again) "Accountable. It means that we help each other to do the right thing. You can tell mommy if you think that my voice is too harsh or sounds rude. And I will tell you the same."
Isaac: (with a BIG smile and a little giggle, gives me a HUGE hug)

Our conversation went on quite awhile longer and ended after I told him that I was going to go spend some time with God...
Isaac: "Oh...you're going to go read a book about God?"
Me: "No...I'm going to go spend time with God."
Isaac: "How?"
Me: "I'm going to worship and pray."
Isaac: "Where? In the place with that big room with the drummer and the singer...and that other girl who sings?"
Me: (laughing inside) "No...I'm going to spend time with God downstairs in our living room."
Isaac: "Well how will you worship?"
Me: "With music."
Isaac: "How? From that radio thingy?"
Me: "Yes."
Isaac: "Okay."

And then we said our good night's and I love you's and he went to sleep. I am SO thankful for this precious gift that is my son. I am thankful that even after a day filled with me acting so terribly toward him, he responds with such love and grace...and forgiveness. He may not forget how I treated him, but he has forgiven me and loves me just the same. I praise You, Lord, for blessing me with two of the most amazing kiddos I could have asked for. They test me constantly and there are days in which they nearly drive me crazy. But Lord, they ARE gifts from You. And I thank You for them and even more...I thank You for Your love and forgiveness. Unconditional. Undeserved. Unending. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. Thank you!

Why we are deciding to homeschool...

2011-04-16T14:27:00.001-04:00

I am getting asked this question a lot, so I thought it would be fun to write out all of our reasons. So here they are:

1. Because we feel that it's what the Lord wants us to do. We are a Christian family and enjoy asking God what He would have us do in different circumstances. As we have prayed about where to send our children to preschool, Kevin and I both keep feeling like homeschooling is what we're supposed to do. So that's the most important reason of all. :)

2. I love my children. Hehe. I (for the most part) really enjoy spending time with my children. Sure they drive me crazy from time to time, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love watching them grow and develop. We made a choice for me to stay at home to raise them, and I have been so blessed to be there for every milestone - first words, steps, potty training, etc. And it just makes sense for me to continue raising them and not miss out on seeing them read their first book or complete their first math problem. :) I want to witness their excitement as they master new skills and be there to encourage them when they struggle through others.

3. I am already their teacher. I have been teaching them since they were born. I helped them learn how to breastfeed, then how to take a bottle. I taught them the meaning of "no" and trained them to use manners. I have worked with them on their shapes, colors, numbers, letters, their names....the list goes on and on and on. Just about everything that I've done with them is teaching of some sort. So it just makes sense to continue on doing what we've already done! Having a degree in education and extensive experience in the classroom setting probably makes it a lot less intimidating for me as well. :)

4. Because my kids are smart. Isaac and Naomi have both shown signs of exceptional capacity to learn and remember things VERY quickly. Isaac came into this world early, started rolling over, crawling, walking, and talking early...and hasn't slowed down one bit since. He has already mastered most of the things typically taught in preschool - knows all of his letters and most of their sounds, knows all of his shapes, colors, etc. He still struggles a bit with his numbers, but can usually identify them and sometimes counts accurately. He has grasped almost all concepts of opposites and comparisons. I recently did a Kindergarten readiness test for him, and aside from working on writing his name, he was pretty much ready for Kindergarten. Now I realize that at just 3-years-old, he is not truly ready for Kindergarten! His behavior is still very much in line with his actual age!! :) And he still has a long way to go before being able to draw any type of letters (although I guess he has written O's and I's so far). I am not planning to push him into higher grade levels than what he is actually ready for. I am planning to start with a preschool curriculum this fall and continue with that throughout the school year. He will very likely be ready for Kindergarten the following fall, when he'll be 4 and a half. I would not normally put a boy that age in a traditional school setting, but with homeschooling, he'll likely be ready and be challenged by it. I'm still not sure what I'll do with Naomi quite yet. She very well may be ready for a preschool curriculum when she's 2 and a half, but I may hold her off until she's 3-years-old. She's not even two yet, but knows most of her letters, including some of their sounds...and counts better than her older brother! :) She is also grasping other concepts well ahead of time. So who knows!?!? I just love the idea of being able to nurture their natural gifts and abilities and teach at their pace...be it fast in some areas and slower in others! :) I am also excited to incorporate LOTS of PLAYTIME into our daily routine. To start out, we'll probably only spend 30-60 minutes a day on school (split up, of course). We'll see how it turns out! :)

5. I want to shelter my children. Yes...I just wrote that. :) And please let me explain. When we did try sending Isaac to preschool last year, he came home with behaviors that I had not taught him. He came home with a whole new vocabulary of potty talk that he didn't learn from me. I was not ready to deal with this so early. Children are SO impressionable. And having them away from me for 3-4 hours each day (three days a week)...makes it impossible for me to control what they are exposed to. If they hear another child talking with a filthy mouth or see a child bully another without any correction, it wreaks havoc in their little hearts. Being a Christian, I plan to train my children up in the Truth, according to how the Bible instructs. By sheltering them, I do not mean that their lives will be void of enriching experiences or relationships, but rather, that I will intentionally monitor what they are exposed to and when. I want to fill their minds with things that promote love, faith, and other godly character traits...rather than the hatred and self-serving messages that are at the core of so many secular movies and media. I would rather have a sheltered child than one who blends in with every other child in the world. I want to maintain and preserve their innocence and purity for as long as I can. And homeschooling is one way to help me do this! Children, by nature, are not ready to be exposed to HALF of what our society allows for them to see and hear. They are bombarded with messages of violence, sex appeal, and consumerism. We live in an instant-gratification world and our children are suffering because of it. I won't shelter them forever, but plan to allow exposure to different things at later times, when they are more mature and can handle them.

6. I don't like the way traditional schools are run. I think the way schools are functioning these days is detrimental to our society as a whole. Class sizes in most public schools have gotten ridiculously large, due to widespread budget cuts. Teachers are no longer given the freedom to use very much creativity in what they teach...as what they teach is almost solely dictated by what is on the standardized tests. They have specific goals they have to meet in order to keep funding. Teachers are over-worked and underpaid. And it is impossible for them to teach to the many different learning styles that are out there...so they choose one or two of the most common. Many children (especially young boys) are being diagnosed with ADHD, when in fact, they are just little kids with LOTS of energy...and who were not designed to be sitting and paying attention for such long stretches of time. And speaking of time, there is LOTS of wasted time in the school day. Children spend half of their days waiting...waiting at the drinking fountain, to use the restroom, to get into the cafeteria, then in line in the cafeteria...waiting for slower students to finish their work, waiting for the teacher to finish helping another student before answering their questions...waiting with their hands raised to answer a question. With so many students per classroom, students have to learn the art of waiting. While there is certainly character to be developed with respect to waiting, I don't think it's a great use of time during the school day. If a child has already mastered a concept, why do they need to wait two or three days for all of his/her peers to catch up? And what about the student who is really struggling to keep up, but the majority of the class has mastered the lesson so the teacher moves on? Those students who didn't quite grasp the concept get left behind, in a cloud of confusion. Why not let the children move on at their own pace? Because that would be impossible with the way schools operate right now. But with homeschooling, I can cater to each of my children's own learning styles and help them grow and learn at their own pace. I will not teach them so much WHAT to think...but rather, HOW to think.

7. I'm a free-spirit. I've always been one to march to the beat of my own drum. I like doing things a little differently. I don't enjoy waking up super early. I don't enjoy rush-hour traffic. I like the freedom to plan our days as I see fit. I like the option of being spontaneous...doing things on a whim. I am a creative person and I look forward to using that creativity to plan sweet lessons and create structured, meaningful activities that will help guide my children and help them grow in knowledge. I LOVE the flexibility that homeschooling offers. I LOVE the idea of NO HOMEWORK. Before daddy comes home from work, all schoolwork will be complete for the day...thus our family time will be just that...family time. I also LOVE the idea of longer recesses, more time for lunch, and more one-on-one, hands-on education. Oh...and I LOVE field trips. And I can plan as many as I want...all year long! :) If we are studying something that took place on the East Coast, I can drive my kids over there for a history lesson. If we are studying space, I can take them to Cape Canaveral to explore the space museum! The sky's the limit (as long as the budget allows)! And I just LOVE that freedom.

So....that ended up being longer than I expected! :) Bottom line is that I don't need to justify myself or our choice to homeschool to anybody. Everyone chooses what they choose for different reasons. Sure...there are aspects of homeschooling that I am not at all thrilled about (I'll save those for another post!). But we are pleased with our choice for now...and hope that it works out well for our family.

Sunday Secrets

2011-04-03T14:28:00.000-04:00

The secret: Our children need us to listen to them.

I have learned this lesson in kind of a sad, round-about way. This weekend, we experienced a first for our family: BOTH of our kiddos spent the night away from us...at their Nana and Papa's house. It was SO nice to not worry about getting up with a crying toddler or to be woken up in the wee hours of the morning because they are ready to get up! :) It was a beautiful, beautiful thing.

After waking up the next morning, I made the anxious phone call to my mom to find out how the night went. For the first time away from us, it wasn't TOO bad! They both did pretty well. But the first thing my mom said was, "Man does that boy love to TALK!?!" Isaac was sharing a room with his Nana, and was pretty excited to sleep in his very own big boy bed there. But once Nana joined him in the room, his little mouth did not stop talking until well after an hour and a half!

So what, exactly, does a three-year-old talk about for so long? Well...first of all, he recounted his ENTIRE week with her. He shared all of his fears and things that were bothering him. He talked about getting lost at the museum and how it was dangerous because he is "kind and cute." :) He talked about playing with his friends...and how one of them told him not to tell his mommy something bad that they did to him...and how he didn't tell me because he didn't want to upset his friend. He shared about an experience being bullied by older boys...and how those boys lied to their mommy about what happened. He was replaying a few scary scenes in a show that he had seen...and how he was concerned about what had happened. He expressed feeling scared about the "big eyes" that were looking back at him on his new Toy Story pillow case! :) He talked, and talked, and talked....and TALKED.

And upon hearing about all of the things that were weighing on my son's little heart, my eyes welled up with tears. Why hasn't he told ME these things? Why didn't I know how much he had going on within? And as I was sharing an uninterrupted breakfast with my husband, it hit us. He doesn't spend time talking to us like that, because we don't let him. This kid struggles to go to sleep EVERY night of his life. We give him consequences for getting out of his bed every night (which he does multiple times). We sigh in exasperation as his nighttime struggles frustrate us. But what if all this time, all he needed to do was...TALK? Just typing this, the lump returns to my throat and I feel like crying.

Our son just wants us to listen to what he has to say. His poor little mind and heart are so filled with things that have happened throughout his week. And he just needs to process them all. But we haven't let him. In the name of discipline and having time to ourselves, we have neglected to listen...really listen...to what's going on in Isaac's heart. No wonder this poor kid takes so long to wind down every night. He's got a lot on his mind! Maybe if we'd just spend 45 minutes or so letting him process it all, then he'd fall asleep with much more peace in his little heart.

We will be making this change immediately. And we'll take turns with him...starting the bedtime routine much earlier. We'll just lay there with him in the dark...letting him talk our ears off. We'll help him process through his day and pray with him about what is weighing on his heart. We'll let him share his fears and worries with us and encourage him to share those things with God too. We are going to start actually listening to this precious child.

Thank You, Lord, for teaching us this lesson! We praise You for creating Isaac with such a beautiful heart and mind. Thank You that he is a little thinker...and is even able to process through the things that happen to him throughout his week. I pray that You would bless our new times together and that Isaac would be comforted through these changes. I pray that Your peace would reign in his heart. We love this precious son beyond measure...and I know that You love him even more than that! Wow! How great must Your love be for us! Thank You, Father, for listening to YOUR children! I love You, Lord! Thank You for loving me! :) Amen.

It Happened...

2011-03-31T14:29:00.003-04:00

It happened. I lost one of my kids. It was only for 5-10 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. And I am thankful for a lot of things, but first, let me share how this all happened. As with many days, I began my day before the sun came up...in a time of worship and prayer. I love starting my days like this, as it sets the tone for the rest of my day. This morning, my time was cut short due to early wake-up times from my beautiful children. :)

But even while they were awake, I continued in prayer...asking God what He wanted us to do during the day. I know I wanted to get out of the house with the kiddos. I just didn't know where. I liked the idea of free, so the Children's Museum, the mall, and the library were all the best prospects. I made the mistake of mentioning them to Isaac and he began to obsess over going to the museum. So I told him that we'd go. But even while we were on our way, I asked God where we should go. I kept hearing, "the mall," but I wrestled with the idea of disappointing Isaac. I wasn't in the mood to deal with a grumpy 3-year-old who didn't want to go where I thought God was telling me to go. So I followed my own (and more so, Isaac's) agenda and we went to the museum.

As we pulled up to the museum, the traffic was unreal. I thought, "Oh great...it's crazy busy." I had no idea just HOW busy until we got inside. WOW. I've never seen a place more packed. I know that by the time we left, it was AT capacity. And inside, it felt like it was slightly BEYOND capacity. (See photo above)

After poking into two or three different exhibits (but leaving shortly after because they were too busy), we headed down to the food court to eat our packed lunch. Naomi was in a high chair across the table from me, and Isaac was sitting in the seat to my left. We were nearing the end of the meal, and I was helping Naomi finish up when I turned to ask Isaac something. But he was gone. Just like that. I looked around, to see if I could see him running around a corner or hiding from me. He was not. One second he was sitting peacefully beside me, the next he was nowhere to be found.

I left Naomi at the table (within eyesight) while I walked around the food court. I began looking at all of the mommies at the tables around us, trying to get some sort of read as to whether anyone saw my son leave. No one acknowledged me. No one was aware of my distress. A few minutes had passed at this point, so I put away our lunch, got Naomi into the stroller, and headed out. I was outwardly calm, but my heart was sinking. Where did he go? Why would he do this? Maybe I should notify someone who works here. So as I was looking for Isaac, I was simultaneously looking for ANYone who could help me. There were no museum employees around that weren't already up to their knees in work, helping other people. Okay. I don't need them anyway, right?

So I began to pray. I didn't even know what words to pray, so I just prayed in the Spirit. Lead me to him, Lord. Help me, PLEASE! I continued fighting back my tears...but they were so close to just pouring out. Then I remembered that Isaac had talked about wanting to see the dinosaur exhibit. Maybe he headed down there? So I started heading that way, and as I began walking down the ramp, I heard his voice yelling, "MOOOOMMMMMMY!" He was grinning as he was being chased down/escorted by a VERY helpful museum employee. I thanked her, then my first words to my son: "Where have you BEEN?" She said that he came up to her and said that he lost his mommy. She asked him where he last saw me, and he told her and led her to the food court. The timing was just right because he happened to spot me as I was about to pass them going in the opposite direction. :)

We left immediately and Isaac got an ear-full about why it is not okay to leave my side. I gave him the whole "bad guys" talk. I talked to him about how it's my job as his mommy to keep him safe, but when he runs off and does his own thing, I can't help him or protect him. I warned him that if he runs off like that, someone could snatch him away and that we'd never see him again. And I let him know how sad that would make us. I wanted him to realize that it is never, ever okay for him to do this again. I hope it sinks in.

And as I was driving home, the Lord spoke to me again. He tenderly told me, "I tried to warn you. But you left my side. You went out on your own and experienced the consequences that I KNEW you were going to experience. I tried protecting you from this whole experience, but you chose to do your own thing." It could have been A LOT worse. I am SO thankful that Isaac is okay. And I am praising God for showing me how my own choices were very similar to my son's today. I am definitely taking this lesson and letting it sink in. And by God's grace, I hope to never leave His side again!

Not so great mommy moment #327

2011-03-24T12:29:00.000-04:00

Kevin and I were trying to have a conversation this evening and Isaac KEPT interrupting us. I tried explaining to him that I was talking to Daddy and I didn't want him to keep trying to talk over us. With each interruption, I grew in my frustration and finally told Isaac to just leave the room and play by himself. My tone was far from a loving one. Kevin reminded me that Isaac was just really wanting (and needing) some one-on-one attention, and that we could continue our conversation after he was in bed. A few minutes later, Isaac walked back in and without even glancing in my direction, said, "Excuse me, daddy, but will you please play spaceships with me?" Kevin looked at me with puppy dog eyes, as if to ask my permission. I smiled and said, "That sounds like fun!" Kevin agreed with excitement and got up to walk away with Isaac.

As they were walking away, without looking at me, Isaac waved his hand in my direction as he exclaimed, "And mommy...you can just talk to yourself...and Mona." I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his candor! And so there I sat, just me and Mona (our dog)...as my son happily played spaceships with his daddy. :) This kid has got some serious chops. Wonder where he got that from? :)

Play time with cousin Owen...

2011-03-07T14:39:00.000-05:00

She absolutely ADORES him! :)

Thankful Thursday

2011-03-03T14:33:00.001-05:00

I am thankful for the sweet, innocent conversations we have with our 3-year-old son. He comes up with the most wonderful things and sometimes they just tickle my tummy. As our children begin to really discover the world around them, there are so many questions to be asked. Here is an example of one of our recent conversations with Isaac:

Isaac: "Mommy, why don't YOU have hair on your face like Daddy?"

Me: "Because I am a woman...and daddy is a man. When you get older and become a man, you'll have hair on your face too."

Isaac: "OH! So...daddy is a man, but you're not and I'm not yet."

Me: "Right! But some day you will be!"

Isaac's conclusion: "So I am a woman like mommy."

Oh dear!! :) Love his reasoning here. He is a very matter-of-fact little guy, and sometimes talks like he's a little professor, using phrases like: "Actually..." or "In fact..." I have really enjoyed watching and guiding him as he figures out all of the perplexities of this world. I LOVE the mind that he's been given. And today, that's what I am thankful for! Thank you, Lord, for creating Isaac so wonderfully. Thank you for giving him such a beautiful mind...and the words to be able to express what's in it! :)

Please leave a comment and share examples of fun conversations that you've had with YOUR children!! Share what YOU are thankful for today. :)

Experiment - conclusion

2011-02-26T15:27:00.000-05:00

So after spending a week with my phone turned on silent, not being on the computer, watching any television, or reading any books at all during the day, and completely fasting from Facebook...I feel like I am a much better mommy. Simplicity is beautiful. But it has been challenging. I still find myself wanting to escape from time to time...and I think from time to time, that will be okay. Just not doing it ALL of the time will be a good thing.

My hypothesis with this "experiment" was that I would see a dramatic difference in the behavior of my children if I was simply more present for them. I tested my hypothesis by cutting out all unnecessary distractions and really worked hard to remain present with them throughout our days. Some days I did better than others. I did not do it perfectly, as I cheated and held phone conversations a few times. However, my hypothesis was CORRECT! Most of the frustrating behaviors of my children had a large part to do with them simply wanting and vying for the attention of their ever-escaping mommy. So when I gave them what they were wanting and needing, they responded in amazing ways. :)

After this week, I have made some decisions about how I am going to spend my time as a stay-at-home mom. I have resolved to begin treating it as if it were my full-time job. I will continually ask myself, "Would I be doing this on the job working for someone else?" If the answer would be no...then I need to reconsider my choices. I plan to limit how often I use my phone during the day, using it only to send and receive calls, and to check email only occasionally. I will continue sticking to my no television or computer time while the kids are awake rule. It has been freeing. And I will actually begin to REALLY limit the amount of time I spend on Facebook.

I have realized how addicted I am to Facebook...all in the name of staying connected. But what has happened is that while I've been keeping up with the lives of people I hardly know, the very people closest to me have felt disconnected from me. Do you see how twisted that is? Like seriously messed up. And it's not fair to them or me.

Maybe I'm the only one in the world who spends too much time on there. But I have found that an hour can go by, and it only feels like it's been ten minutes. I enjoy seeing what's going on in other people's lives...and I enjoy helping others feel connected to me. But I have to really question things when 400 of my Facebook friends know about a personal medical emergency before my own sister, who by the way, has been deeply hurt by this reality. Something is wrong with this. And it's my own fault. So things are going to change.

My children need me. They need my attention...my UNDIVIDED attention. In this day and age, it is so hard to remain present...with our phones, iPads, etc. We are consumed by the vast number of applications, games, or social networking opportunities available to us all the time. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I just can't handle it. But maybe I wasn't designed to. Maybe none of us really were.

So there you have it. The Great Behavior Experiment is over...sort of. :) I am SO thankful that I chose to do this, and am excited to see how things begin to change in all of the relationships in my life...especially with my children. I have realized that their behavior goes much deeper than what I see on the outside. There is a war for their little hearts and souls...and I'm gonna fight for them...because that's my job.

Experiment - Days 4 and 5

2011-02-25T15:25:00.000-05:00

Day 4

7:45am - Wake up for the day - Kevin let me sleep in and since I went to bed WAY too late, it was SUCH a blessing!

8:30-9:30am - Did a series of activities, including: playing on the floor piano, coffee bean work (which they LOVE), counting sticks, and puzzles.

*All of the work with coffee beans made me crave some coffee...so I'm enjoying some right now! :)

9:45am - We invited a neighbor friend over to join us for a movie and play time. SUPER fun!!

11:30am - lunch, then naps

1:15pm - both kids up from their naps...it was a very short one today. UGH.

2:00pm - snack, then playtime - they enjoyed pretending that they were riding on horses on the couch! :)

3:00pm - dance party!!

3:30pm - more structured activities: cutting and pasting work, colors/sticker activity, felt board, Color Wonder markers coloring, and work with shape board.

**It was a busy day, and they both responded VERY well to all of their structured activities. I need to be more intentional about planning out more things for them like I did today!**

Day 5
*no photos from today, as we were busy with friends all day! :)

6:45am - get a shower, and both kids are up early!

8:15am - I enjoy my breakfast as the kids are working on their space shuttle. They are waiting on me to re-fuel, so I can join them on their space mission. :)

9:25am - We leave for a playgroup. Enjoyed time talking with other mommies. Unfortunately, half-way through, Isaac came up to me and said, "Excuse me, mommy. I'm not having very much fun." He was bored, as he was the oldest child there...by quite a bit.

1:00pm - got home and ate lunch

1:30pm - Naomi down for nap

1:45pm - Isaac down

2:00pm - Isaac up to go potty, Naomi is still awake.

2:45pm - UGH. Naomi is crying...doesn't want to nap today.

3:15pm - brought Naomi downstairs, then some friends arrive for a playdate.

5:00pm - friends left, and I put a frozen pizza in the oven while kiddos watched a show.

**Today was SUPER easy. Fun times with other mommies...and kids.**

The Grumpies...

2011-02-25T14:52:00.000-05:00

"I have grumpies all over my body, mommy." ~Isaac at 2-years-old

He was talking about goosebumps in that moment, and it gave us a good chuckle. But now, at 3-years-old, this young boy seems to be battling the real "grumpies" every day. He wakes up grumpy and goes to bed grumpy. And I feel like I've tried everything under the sun to ward off his bad moods. I will share some things that we've tried, and kindly ask for ideas of how YOU have dealt with this in your family! (Please tell me that I am not the only parent with a perpetually grumpy toddler!)

First let me paint a picture of what I mean by "grumpy." When Isaac wakes up from his nap, we open his door, and he SLAMS it right in our face. He'll whine that he doesn't want to wake up, so I'll gently guide him back to his bed. At this point, he is usually crying and saying, "NO! I want to go downstairs!" Okay...downstairs we'll go. I carry him down, with a scowl on his face. When he meets his sister in the living room, he bats his hand toward her, saying, "NO! I don't want YOU!" This is when I'll typically have him go sit down for some much needed time-out. He stomps on his way, still with an ugly scowl on his face. He will sometimes snap out of it in an instant. But most days, this grumpy behavior persists off and on throughout the day. There have even been times when he has said to me, "I'm going to be grumpy when we go there." So he has PLANNED to be grumpy in certain situations. I'm using the word grumpy, but honestly it's just plain rudeness...and it's UGLY...with a capital U!

We've tried ignoring the behavior, and simply waiting until he is in a better mood to interact with him. This has been effective some of the time, and not so much the others. We've also disciplined or corrected the grumpy behavior, having him sit in time-out until he's ready to be kind and loving. I try to remember what triggers his grumpiness, and I know that when he's hungry, he can be EXTRA grumpy. So I try to make sure that his belly is full or give him a little snack the moment it starts up.

I've offered him rewards for choosing to be kind, rather than grumpy, but he usually forgets and the grumpies take over. I've tried acting silly, singing songs, dancing, and tickling...all in an effort to distract him from his grumpiness. I've also put him in front of the television, which works temporarily, but once the 25-minute show is over, the grumpiness is back in full-force. We've tried mocking his grumpy face, scowling back at him...followed by much laughter. And the biggest thing I do is continually PRAY for his little heart. This grumpiness can be SO draining. Sometimes I feel like a clown trying to cheer up an impossibly grumpy child. I am SO over it...but am also hopeful that he will not be this way forever. (God help me if he is!) And in the meantime, I will continue praying for him as I search for new ways to deal with these grumpies.

Sweet Naomi...

2011-02-24T15:11:00.000-05:00

My sweet baby girl has been teaching me a thing or two about gratitude lately. We are sticklers on politeness in our family. A little please, thank-you, or sorry can go a long way. As my children ask for things, I require that they ask with "please," and once their request has been granted, I require a "thank you, mommy." I do this from the moment they begin babbling, and I continue to remind them to use manners. And it is SO fun when it finally starts to pay off!

At just 20 months old, Naomi is really beginning to get it down, using politeness without prompting. I have always joked that being a mom is a thankless job. But I can't really say that anymore! Naomi has even thanked me for changing her diaper!! I've never met a toddler who was so full of gratitude. I did not teach her to say thank you after I do things for her (wiping off her face, putting her bib on, or zipping up her pajamas, for example). I've just required a thank-you when I or someone else gives her something. But it has amazingly transferred to all areas...and she seems to be filled with genuine gratitude.

I cannot begin to describe how my heart swells with love and generosity as she does this. It's as if the more she thanks me for the little random things that I do for her, the more I want to do and give. How much more does our Father in Heaven enjoy when we have a genuine heart of gratitude toward the things He does and gives to us? I wonder if the more we praise Him...the more thankful we are for the simple things...the more He wants to give to us?

Today, I am thankful for my sweet daughter, who is teaching me the art of being thankful. Her name means "beautiful, pleasant, delightful" and she is SO living up to her name! Thank you, Lord...for blessing us with such a sweet, delightful little girl whom You are already using to change people's lives...namely, mine! :)

Experiment - Days 2 and 3

2011-02-23T15:21:00.002-05:00

Day 2

*I will not be doing as detailed of an account of my days as I did the first day, but rather, give little summaries of how the days go.*

7:00am - up with Isaac first, then Naomi

8:00am - had some adorable breakfast conversation with Isaac...about how things aren't really ours, but how everything belongs to God. After thinking for a minute, he asks, "Mommy, why can't we see God?" Wow. Great question!! I LOVE seeing his little mind work to understand things. SO cool. We talked about the wind and how we can't see it, even though we can feel it...and how God is kind of the same way.

9:30am - Isaac helped me change some batteries in a little clock radio. I was shocked when he instructed ME: "Mommy...the flat side goes on the springs." Wow...I guess daddy must have been working with him on this, as I've never taught him that!

10:30am - preschool playtime at the Y...the kids have a BLAST!! :)

12:00pm - lunch, then naptime.

Throughout the afternoon, we had lots of free play, which included Isaac practicing more on his new balance bike...as well as time to play with playdough, make a delicious peanut butter playdough snack (using our kitchen helper), and watch one tv show. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Day 3

6:40am - Naomi is up, then closely followed by Isaac. And then we all watched a show together.

7:45am - I let the kids help feed and get water for Mona. They LOVED having a job to do!

9:00am - Both kiddos had their first dental cleaning and did remarkably well. All of the hygienists and dentist were commenting on how great they did and also how great their teeth look! Yay! :)

10:00am - Snack Time...doggy style! :) On the floor, eating with their mouths only. Some may gasp at the idea of allowing my children to eat off the floor. But it was by their request and we had a wonderful conversation about the difference between dogs and people. Dogs have paws, but God gave us hands with fingers so we can eat with them! Super silly...and super FUN snack time!

11:00am - After coloring, reading books, conducting a puppet show (that reinforced what we learned about dogs earlier), and some free-play, we are all bored. I didn't do a good job of planning our day. So now they are being entertained by Curious George as I prepare lunch.

12:00pm - Both kids are down for nap. Scheduled an appointment for this afternoon for Isaac to see the doctor (his ear is bothering him).

2:45pm - Took Isaac to the doctor...confirmed that he has another ear infection...poor guy. :( No wonder he's been so whiny and grumpy today!

3:30pm - Movie time! I popped some popcorn and enjoyed a movie with the kiddos.

10:49pm - Just finished watching a tv show of my own, then jotted down some ideas for tomorrow. Some of them include: playing with coffee beans, having Isaac work on cutting and pasting, talk about triangles, work on counting and arranging things by size, getting out the floor piano mat and making music, and making cookies. I would also love to have some friends over, so we'll see how that goes. :)

Got a little something up my sleeve....

2011-02-19T14:41:00.001-05:00

I've been really slacking on here lately! But I've been blogging elsewhere! That's right!! Over the past 48 hours, I have conceived and birthed another blog! It's called Treasures from the Trenches, and is going to serve as my way of writing about any and all parenting-type issues that I'm working through. I have been so encouraged any time that I've shared my struggles and successes with other mommy friends, so I'm gonna have a place to do that more often! :)

I am planning to still keep up with this blog as well. This is where I will keep more personal information updated...what the kiddos are up to...and stuff like that. If you've been someone who has been reading this blog, I'd LOVE it if you'd follow my other one too! :) I am really excited about it, and hope that it ends up blessing other mommies who are "in the trenches" with me! :)

You can click here to access the blog: http://www.treasuresfromthetrenches.com

On a completely separate note, I totally wanted to blog about an emergency visit to the pediatrician this week. The patient: Naomi Grace. Big brother was trying to help her up off the ground, but yanked too hard, and her elbow came out of socket (Nursemaids Elbow). This was a first for her, but we've have it happen about 5 or 6 times with Isaac. After the second time, the doctor just showed me how to fix it myself. And I have...about 3 or 4 times! I tried with Naomi, but it didn't work. :( Poor thing! But the doctor was able to help her right away. And true to Naomi's style, she sweetly thanked the doctor: "dank you, doctow." :) SO precious!!

And now I leave you with one of my favorite recent pics...

LOVE these two!!

Experiment - Day One

2011-02-18T15:16:00.000-05:00

6:00am - up and getting ready to go workout at the gym with a friend. just started training to compete in a triathlon this summer.

6:20am - just as I finished praying for my kiddos to sleep for awhile longer, for Kevin's sake, Naomi began screaming her head off.

6:22am - sitting on the couch, reading my devotional, as I wait for my ride. Naomi runs up to me, and I pat her on the head and tell her good morning (without really looking at her). She follows with LOUD cries...with tears even. She's obviously still tired and wants me to hold her. But in the name of finishing my short time with God, I don't. She runs back to daddy for comfort.

6:26am - she walks past me and unprompted, says: "I'm sawy mommy." My heart melts. Where did she learn this?!? :)

7:45am - return home. Naomi runs up to me, starting the "my mommy" game. I warn that if she continues, she'll be sitting in time-out. Isaac runs over and wants hugs too. I'm on the ground, with both kiddos in my lap.

7:49am - I run upstairs to change clothes. Tempted to turn on the computer, but I resist! :)

7:55am - as we're eating breakfast, Isaac asks, "Can we please watch a show?" I tell him not while we're eating, and that I wasn't sure if we'd do any shows today. He shrugged. Quickly finished his Mini-wheats, then said, "Okay...can I please watch Curious George now?" UGH. What do I DO? He asked SO kindly and without whining.

8:01am - both kids are sitting, peacefully glued to the television, as I finish my bowl of Multi-grain Cheerios. I turn my phone onto silent after checking email and the weather for the day. :)8:10am - okay this is weird. They are occupied and I don't know what to do with myself. Though I just realized there's a dishwasher full of clean dishes and a sink full of dirty ones. Off to do the dishes! :)

8:25am - dishes are done. Curious George is over. Having a heated discussion with Kevin regarding time and schedules.

8:33am - both kids hanging on my legs, yelling, "MY MOMMY!" both sent to time-out. Once time-out has been served, we turn on some FUN kids music and dance.

8:50am - leave by myself for an appointment with the chiropractor. feeling stressed and preoccupied with our frustrating argument this morning.

9:25am - came home to TWO naked babies!! enjoying watching them play and playing with them. :)9:45am - day-planning while they play well together: 10:30-preschool playtime at the YMCA, 12:00-lunch, 12:45-naps, 2:30-outside playtime, 3:30-snack 10:02am - UGH. They are playing VERY well together. I mentioned that we will need to get dressed soon so we can go to the Y. Isaac's response: "NO! I don't want to go to the 'MCY' because I'm grumpy when I go there." He's probably remembering back to the last time I left them in childcare to workout. They were both hysterical when I picked them up. Hmmmmm.10:05am - Okay...I'm changing the plans. They are having WAY too much fun playing dress-up. LOVING this!! :)10:15am - calling friends, trying to set up a last-minute playdate.

10:55am - just spent 20-25 minutes on the phone (between three different friends). Bad idea. It's so last minute and highly unlikely that anyone could come anyway. While it was nice to chat with those mommies, my kids destroyed the living room, messed with the blinds (which they know is a no-no), and were struggling to show kindness to one another. Then just as I was getting off the phone, Naomi had started doing something that we spank her for (turning a specific chair on it's back and pushing it along the hardwood floor). UGH. I got down at her level and let her know why shed be getting a spanking. She apologized and then got her consequence.11:00am - Playdough time!! :)
11:20am - let kids play alone while I get started on lunch.
11:34am - just kidding! changed Naomi's diaper (poop), then she asked to go on the potty. Then, naturally, big brother had to go poop too! Handed out treats (two little fruit snacks). And NOW I'm ready to start on lunch...after I cleanup the Playdough mess! :)
11:46am - sit down to eat with kiddos (left-overs). And Isaac promptly states: "Wait! We forgot to go to the Y!" Seriously? I had to laugh out loud! I explained to him why we didn't make it.

11:48am - Isaac tips back in his chair and it goes crashing to the floor. He's okay. Crying, shakin up, and a little hurt, but otherwise okay. Teachable moment: "So WHY do you think it is that mommy and daddy always ask you to SIT on your bottom in this seat?" (silence) "Because we LOVE you and care about you and don't want you to get hurt. If you stand and move all around in this chair, you might fall down and get hurt and that's so sad. Would you like some ice for your foot?"
12:45pm - NAP time!! Put Naomi down first...then Isaac. Trying to decide - do I work on the blog, go online, etc...OR watch my saved episode of American Idol? (I went with working on the blog, btw.)

1:15pm - working on blog. Isaac's been quiet for a little while, but Naomi is still screaming her head off from her crib. She's REALLY fighting this nap. :(

2:01pm - Isaac's up...asking for water. Give him a drink and tell him to go back to sleep.

2:04pm - Isaac calls for me again...this time concerned about his owie. Not looking like I'll have much more of a break. UGH.

2:07pm - "Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!!!!!" I let him scream and talk for a few minutes. Then decide he's spent enough time in there. Naptime over. Break over. Back on the job....

2:20pm - mommy and Isaac time...spend time reading through a Highlights magazine.

2:30pm - done with magazine. I'm feeling SO tired, so I am putting on a show for Isaac - Dinosaur Train. Waiting for Naomi to get up...then we'll have a snack and play outside. I'm gonna go download the photos I've had up to this point.

2:53pm - Naomi's up. Dinosaur Train coming to a stop.

3:00pm - Snack Time! Animal crackers, raisins, and peanuts...and I've got two VERY grumpy kiddos on my hands. When I set Isaac's snack on the table, he pushed it away and grunted. So I started eating from it. He began crying, but then to my delight, calmed down rather quickly, took in a deep breath, and asked, "Mommy, could I please have my snack now?" I gave it back to him, asking why he pushed it away if he really wanted it. He said, "I didn't want it then, but I do want it now."

3:11pm - Just realized that I have not even had so much as a sip of anything to drink today! BAD mommy!
3:25pm - OUTSIDE!! Sunny and beautiful, although still a wee bit chilly for me. SO tempted to take my book outside to read while they play together. This is SO hard!
4:25pm - STILL playing outside. I'm such a wuss. It's cold and windy out and I keep coming inside to watch them play from the warmth. :) I'm actually pretty bored.
5:10pm - in the middle of making dinner (Spaghetti)...kids are finally inside. And naked. They stripped down the moment they came in!
5:30pm-8:00pm - dinner, then playtime...followed by a bubble bath and bedtimes. Naomi was down by about 7:30 and Isaac around 8:15pm. All in all, it was a pretty good day.

8:36pm - Isaac just received some discipline and teaching from daddy.

8:49pm - He's still quiet, and I'm relieved to be done for the day. I had originally planned to do this whole logging out my day thing for this whole week, but this ended up defeating the purpose of why I'm doing all of this. I may do it again in a few days...we'll see how it goes. :)

The Great Behavior Experiment...

2011-02-17T15:16:00.000-05:00

What would happen if I actually turned off my phone...turned off the TV...and logged off the Internet? What would happen if I actually WANTED to spend time with my kids? And ENJOYED my time with them? I am a stay-at-home mom to my two kiddos - Isaac and Naomi (3 and 20 months), and I am taking a week to simplify my life and be more available to my children.

Their behavior lately has been driving me CRAZY. And after having a complete meltdown earlier this week (me, not them). I decided something needed to change. I went out and bought, "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I'm only through the second chapter, but have already come away with enough to evoke change. Though Dr. Leman did not come right out and say it, I realized as I was reading, that the problem isn't THEM...it's ME.

Whether it's spending time on Facebook, on the phone, watching TV, or reading books on how to raise better kids, if I take a real close look at my life, I have been AVOIDING the very subjects of my most important job! Sure...I am meeting their basic needs. They are well fed, clothed, bathed, have had diaper changes, and are even quite smart for their ages (doesn't every mommy think so?). And they are even well-mannered...saying "please," "thank you," "excuse me," and even "sorry," completely UNprompted!

But if I am being completely open and honest here, I have been neglecting one of their most desperate needs: ATTENTION. Sure...I may be right there in the room with them. But I'm on my phone - checking email, texting, or commenting on someone's post on Facebook. Or maybe I have the TV on, catching up on my recorded shows. Or lately, having my nose in a book...reading about how to change their behavior! What if the problem with their behavior is that they just want their mommy who has chosen to leave the outside workforce to stay at home with them...to actually BE with them?

So I am taking one week to try this out. I am silencing my phone while they are awake. Because I am embarrassed to admit that I have stopped in the middle of changing a poopy diaper to run and pick-up the phone when someone was calling...or worse - stopped RIGHT in the middle of reading them a book. It's quite ridiculous really. I can call people back when I have a free minute. I do not need to be a slave to my phone.

I am leaving my computer turned off...until naps (like now) and at night when they are in bed. No Facebook. No watching MY television shows while on the job. No reading...unless it's one of THEIR books...to them! :) I am going to take a week and actually spend TIME...quality time...with my kids. I'm going to get down on the floor and PLAY with them. Help them make up wild stories and imagine fun games to play. I am going to ENGAGE with them. And let's see what happens.

My theory is that their behavior is going to improve DRAMATICALLY. Especially given that their disobedience and fighting with one another typically happens when I'm not even present! I will be logging our daily activities and what kinds of things go on throughout the day. That will be the only thing that will take my time away from them. I will jot things down quickly in a notebook that I'll keep nearby.

I hope to grow and learn from this experience, and hope that other mommies will be encouraged to try it for themselves!! :)

Naomi - the hat model...

2011-02-12T14:42:00.000-05:00

Bathtime Baby...

2011-02-11T14:36:00.000-05:00

Nomi, Nomster, Mimi...

2011-02-04T15:26:00.004-05:00

Over the past week or so, my sweet little Naomi has been exhitbiting some completely unexpected, but delightfully wonderful behavior. I've always joked that being a mom is a "thankless" job. But I honestly cannot even say that anymore. At 20 months old, my precious daughter is thanking me for EVERY last thing I do for her! I have NO CLUE where she picked this up...but I am absolutely LOVING it!! Whether I hand her a sippy cup, put a bib on her, give her dinner, push her chair in, wipe off her hands, CHANGE HER DIAPER!...it's all the same response: a very sweet, "thank you, mommy!" I can hardly believe it. Don't get me wrong...we relentlessly teach manners in our home. I am just used to reminding my 3-year-old to say thank you with the simplest tasks! But this...this seems like a genuine heart of gratitude. It's quite impressive! I am eating it up! I can't wait to do things for her!! I really hope it is not just a phase, because it is just about the most precious thing I've seen in a long time!! :)

Here are some more pics from our session last month (there's A LOT):

Happy THIRD Birthday, Isaac!!

2011-02-03T09:39:00.006-05:00

To our first-born son, on your THIRD birthday...
Gosh, buddy. I can hardly believe that you are already three years old! And yet at the same time, I can hardly remember what life was like without you. And even more strange, I can hardly remember what you were like when you were just a young baby. Oh how the time flies!! And now you are three...and have changed so much since last year.Let's see if I can remember everything here. You have learned so much over the past year. You now can correctly identify all of your letters and we've started working on your numbers as well. You are MUCH better at counting now, but still get confused from time to time with identifying the numbers when you see them. You've mastered all shapes, colors, etc. And are still really into spelling. Actually...lately, you haven't been too interested in anything very educational. You LOVE hearing stories...especially ones with LOTS of adventure. You walk around the house saying that you're a "bad guy" to which we remind you that it's the good guys who always win!! :) You don't care. You just love pretending to fight...such a little warrior! :)Over this past summer, you completely mastered riding your big boy bike (with training wheels). We are really looking forward to the spring so we can get outside a lot more!! You also LOVE to swim. We recently joined the YMCA (which you call the "MCY") and we try to swim at least once each week. You are VERY active and love to be doing something ALL THE TIME. :) However, that said, you also enjoy your down time. You typically go to bed around 8pm, though sometimes don't fall asleep until 9 or later! And you are up almost EVERY morning by 7 or 7:30am. We really miss your longer sleep stretches!! Hehe. You still take naps most days (usually 1-2 hours at most), though you do occasionally fight the nap.Since it's wintertime, you have watched more TV than usual. As many as 2 or 3 shows each day!! Some days are worse than others (like if you or Naomi are sick). You just don't feel like playing or using your imagination and would rather just sit down and watch a show. Your favorite shows are Super Why, Word World, and Dinosaur Train. We have just recently (in the past month) started allowing you to watch full-length movies. Your favorite BY FAR is Toy Story 2. Had I known you were going to be SO into this movie, I would have made it the theme of your birthday party. But you are also VERY MUCH into your dinosaurs...so that's the theme we went with this year! I can't wait to surprise you!! :)You went to preschool last semester, but we decided to not send you anymore. You did great with it and were learning a lot. But you never seemed interested in going. I like the idea of homeschooling and will work toward creating a good system to help you learn what you should be learning while at home. Though if I'm being completely honest, the idea of it scares me a little, because there are so many days that you just about drive mommy crazy! We are CONSTANTLY reminding you to be kind to Naomi and to make good choices. You've definitely hit quite an ornery streak and that combined with your smart little mind, make for some very frustrating circumstances. And you are very aware when mommy is upset. If I sigh or act exasperated, you ask, "Mommy, why are you so frustrated?"You enjoy making messes too! In fact, if we're ever cleaning up, you will say, "Wait, guys! What are you doing? I don't want to clean up...I like it better when it's messy in here!" Isn't that the truth?!? :) Although you spend a lot of your days being grumpy, you still love to laugh and make people laugh. I MUCH prefer your laughter over your grumpiness...that's for sure! You are still quite shy around strangers, but seem to do fine if Naomi leads the way. Actually...you enjoy following her lead quite often! And if you get in trouble for something, you are quick to say, "But Naomi was doing it first!" to which I will likely reply, "But you KNOW BETTER!" You will even sometimes egg her on to do something naughty (like throw her food on the floor, climb up onto the countertops, etc). I know that I am supposed to just enjoy each phase of your childhood, but my dear Isaac, I am SO ready for this phase to be over! I hope that when the weather changes for the better, being outdoors will help you blow off some of that energy and you'll be able to wear yourself out more! :)Let's see what else...you are wearing size 2T clothes (mostly...but a few 3T shirts). You weigh 32.5 lbs and are 37.75 inches tall! :) Doctor said you are in the 50th percentile for both! You have big feet, though, wearing 4-5yr socks and size 9 shoes! :) You sleep in a big-boy bed (a twin mattress on the floor), and do a good job with it. As for potty-training, you are completely pooped-trained (using the toilet 100% of the time for that)...but are still quite sporadic with the peeing. We tried having you wear big-boy underwear several times, but you always forget and have accidents with them. You disregard the urge to pee all day long, but often like to use it as an excuse to get out of sleeping...like you'll be put to bed, and then 10 minutes later, start yelling, "I have to go pee!" And while you do go just fine, it's funny to us that you don't use the toilet for peeing all day long! One of these days!! :)You have lots of little friends, but your best friends are Morgan and Claire. You love all of our cute little neighbors (Micah, Emma, Claire, and Gracie). You also have some friends at church (Nolen, Caleb, and Johnny). You still tend to enjoy the company of older kids (4-6-year-olds), rather than kids your own age. And when someone hears you talk, they are always surprised to find out that you haven't even had your third birthday yet! :) But now you're THREE! And we really look forward to watching you grow and develop over the next year! I am so excited to see what this year brings for you. We love you SO much and are so blessed to have you as our son! Happy Birthday, Buddy!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

This is SO you! :)

And some photos for comparison (click for larger image):

Mimi and Ike

2011-01-22T10:11:00.007-05:00

Naomi is in that SUPER fun stage of learning SO much SO fast! She is adding to her vocabulary daily...putting together sentences (although still quite choppy). She makes us laugh with how she talks...sometimes it can be really quiet and sweet (what you'd expect from such a little peanut). But most of the time, she speaks with such gusto! She calls herself "mimi" and while she used to say Isaac's name with perfect clarity, she now calls him "ike." Here's a little example of her telling on Isaac: "MOMMY! IKE! Hit. Mimi. Mommy. IKE! Hit. MIMI! Mimi. Cry. (pronounced without the "r" sound, of course)" :) Her sentences are just so choppy and forceful. SO funny! :)

Some other cute Naomi sayings include: "C'mon, Mommy. Let's go!" Or if I ask her if she's ready to go to bed, she'll say, "No nigh-night...I play!" And if she wants something, this little lady has learned VERY quickly to use the word, "PEEEEZ!" (please) when she asks for ANYthing. "Wadoo. PEEZ. Mommy! PEEZ. Have. Wadoo!" (Wadoo=water). :) She's also been surprising me with her ability to count already. She can count very clearly to ten.

Isaac has been going through a stage in which is enjoys playing the "bad guy." I was a little freaked out about it at first, but then I realized that it is SO inborn of most little boys to want to fight. God created them to be WARRIORS! And that he is! Now I just need to harness that nature and let him use it for good! Hehe. He has also started asking "WHY?" constantly...and we've also been noticing quite a bit of lying starting to creep in.

These two can be bet friends at times, and the worst enemies at others. Such is the nature of siblings, I suppose! :) I love it when they are sweet with one another, and pretty much lose my mind when they are not. I cannot count the number of times we talk about being kind and choosing love and making good choices. Ha! But alas...they are toddlers! And oh so selfish. One of these days, I hope to look back at this time and laugh at the silliness of it all. (Heck, I already do some days!!)

We are SO over winter right about now. C'mon spring! Anytime you're ready...we're waiting for you!! :) These kids just NEED to get outside to play! Thankfully, we've recently signed up for a YMCA membership (or as Isaac puts it: "the MCY"). :) We've REALLY enjoyed the opportunities to get out and let them run and play (or even swim).

I have LOTS of new photos to post, but I'll leave with just a few for now...(I forgot to make them bigger...sorry!)

OH...and totally forgot to update: Naomi's MRI came back completely normal!! WOOHOO! SO there's nothing going on within her brain, which is good. She's been doing a lot better, too. Although she now has another nasty cold (with fever) and just threw up again this morning. UGH! Hopefully we'll be through this all very soon!! :)

Not so fun start to this new year...

2011-01-11T14:41:00.002-05:00

Man...I've gotten behind on posting things on here! It's been a whirlwind start to this new year. Unfortunately, our year has begun pretty much the same way it ended...filled with sickness. UGH! And it literally started around 12:30am on New Years Day. We were celebrating the New Year with the friends in our Life Group, and Naomi woke up vomiting. We left the party early and she proceeded to throw up in the car on the way home and another time or two once we got home. She continues to have vomiting episodes off and on, 11 days later. :( The doctors are confused, as they are convinced that she does not have a virus, but can't quite figure out what is going on. The strange part is that she seems fairly okay throughout the days, but then just gets sick at night. She's throwing up her lunch (almost entirely still intact) from 12+ hours earlier, so her stomach is obviously not digesting any of her food.

They have her scheduled for an MRI of her brain for next Wednesday. And I guess we just wait and see what that shows. Otherwise, they are thinking she could have some sort of delayed gastric emptying...which can be helped with the right medicine. We are just tired of the middle of the night vomiting episodes. The lack of sleep for all of us just isn't healthy. So we're hoping to get some answers SOON. She has lost exactly 1 pound in the past month. To some, that may not sound like a lot. But for a little girl who is already toward the bottom of her charts, it's not good. She is now 19lbs, 8oz...putting her under the 1st percentile. We just hate seeing her lose weight like this, because she just doesn't have much to lose. :(

One other thing that has concerned me over the past few months is that she appears to have poor circulation. Her hands and feet are frequently turning shades of purple/blue...and are FREEZING cold. I'm not quite sure what to make of it...but something about it just doesn't sit right with me. If the MRI comes back showing that everything is okay there, I may request that she be seen by a cardiologist...to make sure there is nothing going on with her heart (blood flow).

Whatever happens, I am just looking forward to having some answers and getting my baby girl to feeling better. Aside from the vomiting episodes and being a bit cranky from the lack of sleep, she is otherwise doing very well. She is talking more and more these days...and we've been having LOTS of fun with her. :)

Isaac is doing well too. Unfortunately, he had to witness her being catheterized yesterday. It was SO sad. I had to pin her down on the table while two nurses took a urine sample. She was screaming and crying...it was awful. But Isaac was a champ. He was standing back, but watching with great concern on his face. Though he was concerned, he kept saying, "It's okay, Naomi. It's almost over. You're doing a good job!" :) SO sweet. Then after the nurses left with the urine sample, Isaac put his hands over his diaper area and said, "I don't want them to touch my penis, mommy!" ;) Poor thing! :)

Looking forward to 2011!!

2010-12-31T14:39:00.000-05:00

This year has been full of trials and pain, and yet we have seen SO much of God's love and faithfulness poured out over us. Most of our trials this year came in the form of physical health issues. The year began with Naomi's hip dysplasia diagnosis. She was casted and healed very quickly. While she was in her cast, my pinky finger snapped in half due to a bone tumor and after a visit to the ER and to an orthopedic specialist, I found myself in a cast as well. :) I am still reminded of that, as my finger still gives me pain from time to time, but it could be a WHOLE lot worse. I am thankful that I healed well from everything and there were no other tumors found on the bones throughout my body! Praise God!! In the spring, Isaac fell and busted his mouth, severing his frenulum (the piece of skin that connects the upper lip to the gums) and moving one of his front teeth. We made an emergency visit to the pediatric dentist to find that everything looked okay. Praise God!! We were thankful that he didn't have to have his tooth pulled!! :) We also saw neurologist this year for Isaac, as we were concerned that he may have been having seizures. The episodes ended up stopping, and we did not pursue any other medical treatment. Praise God for that!! I also made another visit to the ER this summer, as I was severely dehydrated from a nasty bout of the stomach flu. SO thankful that no one else in our family got it that time! Though last month, we ALL came down with the 24-hour stomach bug...all within a few days of each other. But we were SO thankful to have gotten it all out of our systems so we were healthy for the holidays!! :) We also had some scares with Naomi's health, as her doctors were concerned with her being too small and not growing fast enough. Because she was still spitting up at times, we decided to follow the doctor's advice of having her undergo an endoscopy, which ended up showing that NOTHING was wrong with her. She is just a peanut...and we're perfectly fine with that! :) We had to take Naomi to the ER this fall, as she did something to her leg/hip going down a slide at the park. She was inconsolable for hours, and couldn't walk for days. But after several days, she did get better and has no sign of any kind of injury. Praise God!!

After seven months of trying to conceive, we finally got pregnant this summer. During our routine early-pregnancy ultrasounds, we discovered that we had lost the baby, and then later found out that it was actually a molar pregnancy. I had to have a chest x-ray to make sure the tissue had not spread to my lungs, and still require regular blood draws. While trying to prevent getting pregnant, we somehow conceived again, just two months after the previous miscarriage. In shock, we prayed and had peace about everything, and even got a little excited at the idea of being pregnant again. But the excitement was short-lived as we dealt with another loss. While my heart was anguished over both of these pregnancy losses, I have still had an incredible peace within me that comes only from the loving hand of the Lord. He has been teaching me more and more how to lean into Him for comfort when I'm hurting. Because He knows how incredibly hard this is for me. When I'm hurting, wounded, angry...you name it...I run. I stuff every negative emotion imaginable and strive to maintain a joyful disposition. Throughout my life, I have been conditioned to suck it up and be strong for myself...to not rely on anyone for anything. God knows this and I believe that He has been giving me opportunities to grow. I don't think He caused these bad things to happen to us throughout this year. Because I am well aware that we have an enemy who is out to steal and destroy. But God is so gracious to use these trials...every last one of them...for my good. To allow me the chance to learn more about who HE is...and who He has created me to be.

While I've been tempted MANY times to ask the question so many people seem to demand an answer to (the WHY of every situation), He gave me an answer that has truly satisfied my spirit. (Romans 5:1-5) I can rejoice in my suffering...in our trials...in all this crap that is the world. Because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Praise God!

This year also brought about the most spiritual change I've experienced in a long while. I am SO thankful for Victory Weekend and the amazing growth that came from that experience! I am also praising God for my wonderful Life Group, which has been central to my growth this year! I am still FAR from where I'd like to be in my relationship with God. But I praise Him for never giving up on me...for letting me experience the bad so that I can better appreciate and rejoice with the good. I praise Him for living IN me and THROUGH me by the power of the Holy Spirit. I praise Him for giving me dreams...vivid dreams…and for gifting me and using me for His glory. I confess that I have shied away from using half of what He has given me. But He has been patient with me, gently guiding and encouraging me to have boldness and faith.

I look forward to 2011. This is going to be a year marked by health and healing. By His strength and power, I am going to be making some big changes...all working toward being more healthy. The cry of my heart has been for Him to draw me in...and then never let me go. I look forward to learning more about how to relate to Him as my Daddy...cause even saying the word makes my stomach churn. I am looking forward to not working as a photographer, but rather, concentrating on being the wife, mother, and friend that He has created and willed for me to be. I am anticipating and hoping for some meaningful, spiritual conversations with Isaac this next year. My prayer is that he would begin to understand his sinfulness and his need for a savior...and that this awareness would lead him to make better choices with a desire to honor God. I am also trusting the Lord to move mightily within my marriage. I plan to work on loving Kevin the ways HE receives love the best! But I know that I cannot do this on my own, and it will be an act of God for things to change. :) I also want to trust the Lord for more dreams and visions, to give me the boldness to step out when I hear Him calling me to do something. I also pray that I would experience a thirst and hunger for the Word in such a way that I cannot live without it for even a day. And finally, to steal a line from a friend’s blog: I want to be the type of woman that when my feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says, "Oh crap...she's awake!" :)

Our Little Caroler...

2010-12-23T08:46:00.002-05:00

Here are a couple of videos that are sure to make you SMILE! :) ENJOY!

Merry Christmas!!!

2010-12-23T00:31:00.003-05:00

(I was planning to include a couple of cute video clips of the kiddos, but Blogger is acting funny right now, so I'll have to try again tomorrow!)

Naomi 18-months (and other updates)

2010-12-08T13:33:00.003-05:00

Naomi had her 18-month check-up last week. Everything looked great. She's growing! :) She's 20lbs, 8oz, and is 31 inches tall. That puts her in the 5th percentile for weight, and the 30th percentile for height. :) The doctor was very pleased with her language development as well. She's just recently started putting together two and three-word phrases. I feel like Isaac was speaking in paragraphs at this age (and perhaps he was)...but it's important not to compare the two of them and just realize that she's doing really well for where she's at! :) She is learning more and more every day and adding to her vocabulary daily. She has been VERY obsessed with her "baby" lately. But really...it's any baby. She's very maternal. ;) The other day, she was struggling to reach the manger in our nativity scene, and she was yelling, "Baby...JESUS! Baby...JESUSSSS!!" We got a good laugh out of that one! :) She loves reading books and LOVES playing with her big brother! She's a GREAT eater, but still cannot tolerate rice (very strange)...and her favorite is macaroni and cheese. :) That's about it for my update on Naomi...

I also got a call back from MY doctor regarding the results from pathology (from the D&C). The results are negative for molar tissue!! Woohoo!! So now I have to do weekly blood draws for the next month, and then monthly draws for six months. We'll also be started on hormonal birth control to ensure that this doesn't happen again. And in the meantime, since I won't be pregnant or nursing for the next year, I am making some BIG plans for myself!! :) I am thinking about celebrating my 30th birthday with a road trip with some good friends...and I think I'm also going to begin training for a triathlon this next year!! :) I'm super pumped about these plans!! :)

Here are some random photos from the past few weeks. I have SEVERAL more...I really need to catch up!! :) These first two are just up here so I will remember this time. They have just recently really started playing well together. They LOVE playing under blankets (even though someone usually ends up crying). Oh...and notice the presence of "baby" in so many of these! :)

And some from Isaac's Thanksgiving program...

And finally, a couple of Isaac's window artwork...

Here we go again...

2010-11-29T23:05:00.002-05:00

I had a follow-up ultrasound last week (Tuesday), which showed very little growth and no heartbeat. The doctor called me and apologized for my loss. I was still clinging to some bit of hope, so I requested additional bloodwork to confirm the results of the u/s. My labwork came back today showing that the hormone levels are VERY low and are decreasing. We are having another miscarriage. I would be eight weeks pregnant this week, but the baby stopped developing sometime before last week. I'm not bleeding or anything and my body still feels pregnant.

Due to the history of molar pregnancy, they have scheduled me for another d&c for tomorrow morning. We won't hear back the results from pathology regarding whether there is molar tissue again for another couple of weeks. It would be highly unlikely for that to happen. But stranger things have happened (like....oh...say...getting pregnant while preventing). ;)

I've been awfully sad over this loss. But I still have lots of joy flowing out of me as well. I have two little miracle babies that I get to kiss and hug on every day! :) I'll post more when I know more about all of this stuff.

A few pics...

2010-11-22T13:10:00.003-05:00

Some random pics from the past couple of months...

Naomi putting sticks into a small hole in a travel mug. She did this over and over and over and over...I was surprised at how intent she was with this activity! :)

Another of Isaac's favorite activities...the bean box...

And watching TV...

The BIG news...here it is...

2010-11-21T15:31:00.002-05:00

I will be posting this on my photography blog next month:

I have gone back and forth about how to share this news with the world. Do I keep it simple and professional? Or do I let everyone know what is REALLY going on? I have decided to be real, because I know of no other way to doing things. So if you want the short story, then here it is: I am stepping away from my photography business for awhile, and will no longer be accepting clients for 2011. If you want more information about the journey of this decision, then read on.

I need to start by saying that I love...I mean LOVE what I do. Photography has been such a wonderful creative and emotional outlet for me. I love being able to bless clients with images of their precious babies that they will treasure for a lifetime. It comes SO easily to me. And it doesn't usually feel like "work" as it is a passion of mine.

I will follow that by sharing that I NEVER intended to be in business right now. It started as a hobby when I started snapping photos of my own new baby boy. I slowly and steadily became obsessed with it. I spent MANY hours online, researching and learning. And when I was nearly six months pregnant with my daughter, I started practicing on family and friends, not realizing how quickly things would unfold. Before I knew it, my expensive hobby turned into a business...and a thriving one. I found myself constantly putting every dime I earned right back into the business. And, in fact, lost QUITE a bit of money that first year. Ask any legitimate photographer, and they will all agree that this is completely normal.

So now I'm in my second year. And things are going great, business-wise. But if I'm being completely honest, my family life has taken a major hit. I am perpetually exhausted and grumpy with my family. We are experiencing behavior problems with my almost 3-year-old son (mostly due to a severe lack of quality time and attention from me). I have been staying at home full-time with my kiddos AND working a full-time job on the side. Who does that? Seriously? I have found myself working nearly every waking hour of my life. If I'm not with my kids, I'm with my photography. And I'm tired.

I'm tired of missing family time because I have committed to capture someone else's life. I'm tired of spending countless hours on my computer while my family needs me. I'm tired of crawling into bed in the middle of the night, long after my husband has gone to sleep...because I was up late working...after a LONG day of working with the kids. And then I wake up and do it all over again. I have completely mismanaged my time, which has led to a lot of unnecessary stress. I've tried to make some changes over the past several months, but no matter how few clients I have, my heart is still torn.

I will begin to close with a quote from my family blog from January 1st, 2009 (two months before launching into business):

"Anyway...this is beginning to get long-winded! Sorry! :) All this to say...I want to be a better mommy to my kids. A better wife to my husband. And a better (shiver) homemaker for my family. ;) I want to put my all into this new job of mine {being a mommy}. I can become a wonderful photographer over the years. But that's not my 'job' right now. Though it makes me feel great to get such positive feedback, I need to just keep it at that. I need to focus my attention on the most important job I have...raising up healthy, loving children who will one day have families of their own! I hope I do better with this in 2009!! :)"

And then my ding-dong self went into full-time business two months later! How crazy is THAT? :) I have agonized over this decision. Many tears have been shed. The "right" thing to do is obvious...but it is SO hard to give this up. I have LOVED developing, maintaining, and creating this business. I love photography. But more than anything in this world, I love my husband and my children. And without a doubt, they come first. My deepest desire is to honor God in whatever I do. And as I look at my mess of a life right now, I cannot believe for a minute that I am honoring Him. The Lord has graciously shown me that I had been using my business to fulfill me...rather than Him alone. And I am SO ready for that to change.

I am not quitting. I am not giving up. I am making a very difficult decision to step away from a business that I love to care for the family that I ADORE. I am not going to cease being a photographer. I will continue taking photos of my precious kiddos (and any more that we may have). I will enjoy documenting their lives like I should have been over the past two years. I am certain that I will return to being in business again some day...I just don't know when. And in the meantime, I will enjoy every bit of my life raising my beautiful children and being the loving wife my husband deserves.

Thank you SO much for all of your wonderful support. I appreciate all of the encouragement over these past couple of years...it has truly carried me through! It is with tearful eyes and a joyful heart that I write...so long for now.

So there it is! THAT'S the big news. Pretty major stuff. And it feels SO freeing to know that I only have four sessions left to finish out this year...and then I'm DONE (with business). :) The more I have wrestled through this decision, the better I feel about it. I am SO ready to have my life back...to be the wife, mother, daughter, friend that everyone around me deserves! I have NO clue when I will return to business...and that's okay with me. I'll wait until I feel like the time is right next time. :)

Oh...and in case you were interested in reading that post that I referred to, you can find it here.

Peace.

Isaac: He who Laughs

2010-11-17T22:27:00.002-05:00

I happened to stumble across some old videos of Isaac when he was a baby. And I was just struck at how he's changed over his short lifetime. One thing has been consistent, though...and that is his wonderful laugh. I LOVE that his name means "laughter" or "he who laughs" as it is SO fitting. So I decided to do a little montage of clips of him laughing. Get ready to smile big time...and maybe even laugh a little yourself! :)

All about Isaac...

2010-11-17T19:28:00.004-05:00

I seriously love this kid. It always amazes me how much one little guy can drive me to the edge of insanity one moment and then make my heart do flips within me the next. Here's a couple stories to show you what I'm talking about...

A few weeks ago, from another room, I heard the kiddos giggling together and thought, "Oh how nice...they are playing so well together." I soon keyed in to the laughter and noticed that it was more of a we're-doing-something-we-shouldn't-be-doing kind of laugh. :) I came around the corner and was horrified to find this:

I didn't know whether to laugh or scream. It was a MESS. But the good news is that soot is pretty easy to wash with soap and water. :) I smiled but let Isaac know that it was indeed a bad choice.

Then we come to last night. I hear lots of giggling coming from upstairs as daddy is getting Isaac ready for bed. Then I hear Isaac yell, "Mommy, look...we're sister mary's!" I come around the corner and look up the stairs to find this adorableness happening:

SO. Fun. And it's moments like this that make it all SO worth it. :)

All about Naomi...

2010-11-17T07:55:00.000-05:00

Seriously love this little lady. She may be small, but boy does she love a lot! She gives GREAT hugs. And can have a little attitude from time to time. She enjoys doing this squealing/screaming thing that absolutely drives us all bonkers. But then you look at those sweet, big, blue eyes, and can't help but smile. Just check them out...

They get me every time. And another thing about Naomi: you will not likely find her without her beloved baby. She has to have it with her all. the. time. We have not let her take it to bed with her (except on a few occasions), as we found that it just keeps her awake longer as she plays with the baby. We've also tried not allowing her to hold the baby while eating. This one is hit and miss, and really just depends on how big of a fit she throws to win the fight. Haha! I will admit that sometimes it's just easier to let her keep the sacred baby in her arms as she eats, rather than listening to a screaming toddler throughout dinner. :) Pick your battles, right? :) Here are just a couple of pics of Naomi with her baby...

The other thing that this little lady is obsessed with is climbing up onto our kitchen table. And it drives me crazy. She gets consistent discipline EVERY time she does it too. Sometimes she'll turn around right after getting disciplined and do it again and again. Sometimes she sits on the table, other times I'll look over to see her standing up, and sometimes she just lays down up there. Here's an example of that...

All in all, she's a sweetheart, though. I love her to pieces and hope with everything I have that she doesn't end up being more strong-willed that her older brother! :)

Behavior Breakthrough...

2010-11-16T21:58:00.001-05:00

Just a short one for now...

So we've been having more and more break-throughs with Isaac's behavior lately. He can still be challenging at times, don't get me wrong. But as each day goes by, I feel like something is actually starting to "click" for him. For example...today at lunch, for some odd reason, he thought it would be funny to conk me in the nose with his dirty fork. I was not ready for it and it actually hurt me. I reacted more harshly than I'd like to admit, exclaiming that that was NOT a good choice and that we don't hit. He laughed and continued acting out of control, so I had him go sit in time-out for 3 minutes. He walked, teary-eyed to the bench and sat there quietly. When the timer went off, I told him he could come back to join us for lunch. He walked right up to me, gave me a hug, and UNPROMPTED (this is huge), he said, "I'm sorry for hitting you with my fork, mommy." And I could tell he totally meant it! Wow! Something we're doing just MIGHT be working!! :) I thanked him for apologizing and let him know that I forgave him. The rest of lunch went wonderfully.

I have some new photos and stories to tell, but it's getting late and this tired mama needs her sleep! :) More later...hopefully sooner than later! ;)

Some of OUR homeschool activities...

2010-11-13T09:04:00.006-05:00

I have been meaning to put up these photos of our playroom...or classroom. I love the environment in there...at least right after I get around to organizing all of the materials. The paint color in the room is what came with the house and we've just never gotten around to changing it. So rather than painting the walls, we just decided to decorate with brightly colored accessories. :) Anyway...here it is:

A couple of activities...

We made J's out of buttons. Isaac enjoyed this, but really preferred to just hold and play with the little buttons. I found myself growing frustrated with this, but need to learn to allow him to have more freedom with his choices in activities.

And this is one that I just made really quickly. Isaac is still really struggling with his numbers. He's so verbal and in-tune with people's feelings and the world around him, yet still cannot count correctly. He does sometimes, when he wants to. But most of the time, if you ask him "how many?" he'll answer with something along the lines of "three, four, six, nine, fourteen..." Just rambles off a bunch of random numbers. So I developed this activity for him to get better with his numbers. He didn't get it AT ALL. And actually showed NO interest in the actual activity. Again, he just wanted to carry around the pieces. :) But after reading a wonderful blog post (in my previous post), I am no longer going to push him in this area. I will continue counting things with him, but I'm not going to stress about it anymore. He's just not into numbers right now...no big deal. :)

The kiddos LOVE playing with fresh coffee beans. They enjoy playing with it like sand...scooping, pouring, sorting, etc. And the best part is that it smells SO lovely (I got a french vanilla roast). :) Here's a couple of Naomi doing her coffee bean "work" on the activity table...

And just a random one of Naomi wearing a bow made by one of our good friends. :)

Last week we also made peanut butter playdough, and enjoyed that as a snack for a couple of days! I also made some scent jars for Isaac to work with. He loved that activity. I was surprised that he was able to correctly identify five out of the six scents. Very fun!

This just KICKED my butt!

2010-11-12T14:17:00.002-05:00

Wow. It's not too often that I come across something that really hits home for me...as in giving me a HUGE ah-ha moment. But I just read a blog that gave me some REALLY good (and much needed) perspective. It can be found here.

It's titled "what a four-year-old should know." And it might as well work for any age really. I confess that I have a tendency to push Isaac in certain things. He has always been a little advanced, verbally. And while it's been fun for us, we've also had really high expectations of him and what he *should* be able to do. Don't get me wrong...having high goals for our children is fine. But just read that article...and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Things may start looking a little (or A LOT) different around our home very soon! :)

Loving this weather...

2010-11-12T13:43:00.003-05:00

Here we are in the middle of November in Indiana...and experiencing highs in the mid-70's. And LOVING every minute of it!! :) Isaac has developed a serious love of hiking with daddy. I snapped some photos the other day while the kiddos played outside. Yes, our backyard looks like a zoo! But it's fun! :) Here they are...

She looks SO thrilled here, doesn't she? :)

And our beloved Mona Lisa...still going strong! :)

Another bump in the road...

2010-11-08T19:50:00.003-05:00

This isn't the long post I have been promising (still working on it), but is a blog post from my Facebook page with other big news...

I wasn't going to share this publicly, but I need all the prayer I can get right about now. Many of you know that we experienced our third miscarriage just a few months ago. What many of you DON'T know is that it was actually a partial molar pregnancy. If you are like most people, you probably have NO CLUE what that is. Here is a good link that explains it.

Immediately following the miscarriage, I had to have a chest x-ray and then weekly blood draws until my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were down to zero. I've been going back for monthly blood draws to make sure that the HCG levels remain at zero for at least a year. We were also heart-broken when we were told that we were not allowed to get pregnant for an entire year.

My bloodwork this past week has indicated a rise in HCG levels. This can mean one of two things: I have become pregnant while PREVENTING, which can be bad news (possible very high-risk pregnancy), OR the molar tissue has begun to spontaneously redevelop, which will require chemotherapy for treatment. Either way is not good. I was strictly forbidden from getting pregnant for 12 months, which is why we were preventing. If we have actually gotten pregnant, it has got to be an act of God Himself, because I cannot count the number of months we have spent trying to conceive throughout our marriage...and the FIRST month of PREVENTING pregnancy, we fall pregnant? How random is THAT?!? And truly not very likely.

But the alternative of the tissue metastasizing is also highly unlikely, with less than a 10% chance of recurrence. So this is a complete mystery to us. And here I sit, in the agony of not knowing WHAT is growing within my womb. Is it truly a miracle baby? Or is it the stupid tissue spreading again? Will I need chemo? And what will that mean? What if this disease spreads to the other parts of my body? What then? Will this make it even LONGER that we'll have to wait to have more children? And why? Why? WHY?

All I keep thinking is that the Lord must have some pretty freaking amazing plans for us. If we have to continue going through this crap...these trials. He must be refining us...getting us ready for something big. And so we roll with it again. While I am tempted to feel extremely frustrated and angry with my stupid body, I can't allow myself to be overwhelmed by those things. Instead, I will choose to be filled with the Spirit of God who gives me peace that passes ALL understanding. :) I don't need to know why these things are happening. I just need to accept them and allow these circumstances to hurl me into the loving arms of my Savior. Because He, alone, is my comfort...and the very reason that I do not and will not give up.

So basically, we are in waiting mode. The doctor is frustrated with us, thinking that we were irresponsible. But we truly were not. She made it perfectly clear that it could be life-threatening to me or the baby if we were to get pregnant. Apparently if the molar tissue begins to metastasize while I'm pregnant, we would be put into a situation in which we would have to choose between saving the baby's life or mine. (Do I allow cancer to spread throughout my body during the pregnancy or do I treat it with chemo and therefore kill the baby?) How crappy of a situation would THAT be? But it is NOT guaranteed. It is rare for the tissue to metastasize anyway. But it's also rare for us to get pregnant so easily...especially while preventing.

It is a mystery. And we are trying to make sense of it all. We will begin to find out more over the next couple of weeks, with more bloodwork and eventually early ultrasounds. But in the meantime, would you join us in prayer? I honestly don't know how or what to pray at this point. Mostly for joy and peace throughout this journey, I suppose would be the best. I confess that I shy away from praying for exactly what I want (for there to be a perfectly healthy baby that will grow to full-term without ANY complications throughout the entire pregnancy). :) As one of the proverbs says, "A hope deferred makes the heart sick." And I just have such a hard time hoping for something so deep and unlikely. (We've experienced THREE pregnancy losses up to now...so I kinda know what it's like to hope for something and then lose it.)

ANYway...this has gotten long. All of this to say...would you please join us in prayer?

Love you all!
Leslie

And an update from today: according the the doctor, my numbers seem to be within a healthy range for a normal pregnancy...NOT the cancerous tissue metastasizing. To me, this was the best possible news we could have gotten. The odds are in our favor to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby. But they are going to be monitoring me like crazy throughout this pregnancy....beginning with an ultrasound this Thursday. I will update after we find out what that shows. :)